RED DEER, MB – Local man Marcus Strohn has reported creating an efficient schedule that balances his anxiety over the worldwide COVID-19 pandemic with his anxiety over the creeping global m…
Tag: Trump
Entire world stocking up on celebration champagne “for no reason, just in case”
EARTH – Across the globe sales of champagne, a beverage commonly associated with celebrating good news, have spiked, with customers insisting it’s “not for any particular occasion” while si…
Bankrupt Trump kicked out of Walter Reed after health insurance declined
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump has been kicked out of the Walter Reed Medical Centre after his Presidential Health Insurance Plan was denied. “Sir, you can not pay for this assessme…
Global security threat infects global security threat
WASHINGTON – A dangerous threat to global stability and human health announced he has contracted a dangerous threat to global stability and human health. The deadly pair have ruined nationa…
Shredder refuses to denounce Foot Clan
NEW YORK CITY – After telling the Foot Clan to, “stand by”, prominent New York businessman and armoured, ninja guy, Shredder, is under heavy fire for his refusal to denounce the group. “I d…
Trump writes off debate loss on taxes
CLEVELAND – US President Donald Trump has written off his debate loss to former Vice President Joe Biden on his taxes saving him $5 million in refunds. Despite a time-tested strategy of con…
Thousands of rich Canadians who also pay zero dollars in tax glance around nervously
OTTAWA – In the wake of the New York Times’ revelation that Donald Trump paid almost no income tax for the last 15 years, Canada’s wealthy are really hoping no one notices how l…
Trump tax return reveals he’s on CERB
WASHINGTON DC – After a New York Times article revealed President Trump has lied on his federal income tax return in the last fifteen years, a further investigation revealed that Trump has …
Leaked documents reveal Trump met with West Coast wildfire in early July
Washington, D.C. – Recently leaked documents from the White House reveal President Donald Trump had a secret meeting with the deadly wildfires currently burning across the west coast of Nor…
