CALGARY, AB – Surveying the livelihood and stability of adults born between 1982 and 2004, a report released today has concluded that the net worth of the average millennial is only 8000 li…
Tag: Millennial
Millennial lottery winner excited to finally quit one of his five jobs
VANCOUVER – Thirty-one year old lottery winner Michael R. Fernandez announced today that his recent winnings will allow him to finally hand-in his notice of resignation at one of the five j…
5 great gifts for your grads that aren’t letting them move back in with you
Congratulations! Your son or daughter is almost ready to walk across that stage and become the university graduate ready to take on the world you always knew they would be. Here are 5 ideas for g…
Budgeting genius: this man never travels or does anything fun
Sometimes it feels impossible to get ahead, the bills just keep piling up and money never gets saved! But one guy has figured out a surprising trick to balancing even the most perilous of budgets…
Removing toxic mold from the workplace is PC culture run amok
By ELEANOR THINKPIECE As a straight, cisgender white person, I know my opinion doesn’t count for much these days. But someone has to say it; the current movement to cleanse our workplaces of toxi…
Report: Most popular kink among millennials is role-playing as a couple that owns a house
BURNABY, BC – A published study out of Simon Fraser university on generational sexuality has found that the most popular sexual kink among millennials is roleplaying as a couple that owns a…
Unknown generation sought for questioning after brutal murder of local industry
THE CITY – Following the shocking murder of an aging industry, police are seeking an unknown generation for questioning about the crime. “At this point, the generation we’re looking for not…
Millennials applaud new PC Optimum points as the only retirement plan they can afford
TORONTO – After recently buying Shoppers Drug Mart, Loblaw’s has merged the nation’s two most popular consumer loyalty points programs into the PC Optimum points program, finally giving mil…
Millennial villagers prefer to pelt Lottery winners with avocado stones
THE VILLAGE – A conflict is brewing between Baby Boomers who insist on using the customary rocks and Millennial villagers who want to shift to murdering Lottery winners with organic avocado…
Toronto woman finally saves enough to move out of parent’s house for one month
TORONTO – After working multiple jobs for several years and saving diligently, local woman Theresa Graham finally has enough money to move into her own apartment for one month before moving…