OTTAWA – Reaching across all 3 levels of Government, the leaders of Canada’s national, provincial, and big city governments have reached a historic deal allowing them to shift the blame for…
Tag: halifax
Mom calls in excited panic just to say current Jeopardy champion is Canadian
HALIFAX, NS – Earlier this week, Eleanor Weaver, 23, got a panicked call from her mother around 10pm just to say that the current Jeopardy champion, Mattea Roach, is Canadian. “I thought so…
Nova Scotia baffles experts by listening to them about lockdown, actually doing lockdown
HALIFAX – Experts are puzzled after scientists proposed a 2 week emergency lockdown, only to have Nova Scotian premier Rankin actually institute it, rather than ignoring them, lying to them…
COVID first thing Nova Scotia happy to be only province without
HALIFAX – After decades of being the only province in Canada without several attractions, amenities, and chain stores, the COVID-19 virus has emerged as the first thing Nova Scotians are ac…
Old hummus containers at the back of fridge form union
HALIFAX — Earlier today, following years of unrest and maltreatment, the old hummus containers at the back of Emily Cooper’s fridge officially announced the formation of a union, Very Old H…
Local man recounts incredible tale of discovering new podcast
HALIFAX – After surviving almost an entire week with nothing more than a three hour interview of Pete Holmes on The Joe Rogan Experience, humble office manager Dale Eckerd miraculously loca…
Majority of Canadians relieved they can no longer afford to live in Vancouver
OTTAWA — Following a report showing that Vancouver is now the least affordable housing market in North America, millions of Canadians have expressed relief that living there is no longer an…
Halifax donair prepares to spend winter in man’s colon
HALIFAX – A recently-ordered extra large donair with the works is currently undergoing preparations to spend the winter months lodged in the colon of local call centre employee Justin MacIs…
Nova Scotia named best province to walk into the sea and end it all
HALIFAX – According to a survey by the Center For Goth Canadian Studies, Nova Scotia has been named the best province to walk into the sea and end it all. The results of the survey reveal t…
Litre of Donair Sauce appointed as Nova Scotia finance minister
HALIFAX – In a move that has surprised many throughout the province, 1 litre of Donair sauce has been appointed as Minister of Finance and Treasury Board, taking over from Randy Delores. “I…