HALIFAX – As multiple wildfires continue to burn across the province, Nova Scotians have decided as a last-ditch effort to sacrifice beloved life-sized children’s character Theodore Tugboat…
Tag: halifax
Halifax Oyster Fest mascot and Woody the Christmas Tree battle for control of harbour
HALIFAX – Scores of Haligonians were forced to evacuate their homes and business this morning as Pearl, the grotesque Oyster Fest mascot, and Woody, the horrifying talking Christmas tree, e…
Federal, provincial, and municipal leaders strike landmark deal to blame each other for housing prices
OTTAWA – Reaching across all 3 levels of Government, the leaders of Canada’s national, provincial, and big city governments have reached a historic deal allowing them to shift the blame for…
Mom calls in excited panic just to say current Jeopardy champion is Canadian
HALIFAX, NS – Earlier this week, Eleanor Weaver, 23, got a panicked call from her mother around 10pm just to say that the current Jeopardy champion, Mattea Roach, is Canadian. “I thought so…
Nova Scotia baffles experts by listening to them about lockdown, actually doing lockdown
HALIFAX – Experts are puzzled after scientists proposed a 2 week emergency lockdown, only to have Nova Scotian premier Rankin actually institute it, rather than ignoring them, lying to them…
COVID first thing Nova Scotia happy to be only province without
HALIFAX – After decades of being the only province in Canada without several attractions, amenities, and chain stores, the COVID-19 virus has emerged as the first thing Nova Scotians are ac…
Old hummus containers at the back of fridge form union
HALIFAX — Earlier today, following years of unrest and maltreatment, the old hummus containers at the back of Emily Cooper’s fridge officially announced the formation of a union, Very Old H…
Local man recounts incredible tale of discovering new podcast
HALIFAX – After surviving almost an entire week with nothing more than a three hour interview of Pete Holmes on The Joe Rogan Experience, humble office manager Dale Eckerd miraculously loca…
Majority of Canadians relieved they can no longer afford to live in Vancouver
OTTAWA — Following a report showing that Vancouver is now the least affordable housing market in North America, millions of Canadians have expressed relief that living there is no longer an…
Halifax donair prepares to spend winter in man’s colon
HALIFAX – A recently-ordered extra large donair with the works is currently undergoing preparations to spend the winter months lodged in the colon of local call centre employee Justin MacIs…