REGINA, SK – A new study conducted by researchers at The Littlest Hobo Memorial University has uncovered a starling trend; in 95% of cases, most hero dogs’ attempts to get help are ig…
Tag: Dogs
Dogs embracing their bad boy side as sale of treats plummet
CALGARY, AB – As sales of dog treats have plummeted around the country, dogs are embracing their bad boy side. Ralph, the Labrador Retriever, had become accustomed to receiving multiple tre…
Scientist: Otters are actually just wet dogs
Kingston, ON – A senior researcher at Queen’s University claimed this week that otters don’t exist and are actually just wet dogs. “It all came to me at the cottage,” said zoologist D…
Report: The only thing that loves you unconditionally also loves licking its own butthole
VANCOUVER – Researchers at the University of British Columbia Faculty of Science report that the only thing that loves you without question feels the same way about tonguing its tuchus. The…
Corgis everywhere struggling to find a new gimmick
LONDON, UK – Following the death of Queen Elizabeth II, the world’s corgi population is scrambling to find a new trademark to stay relevant in the global dog scene. “We’ve been trying…
Local vet boops a third of your savings account after routine check-up
NAPANEE – A recent trip to the vet has drained hundreds of absolute units from your bank account after it was confirmed your furbaby was in perfect health. The vet was heckin’ thrilled to …
Owner walking large dog off leash on sidewalk really fucking cool
TORONTO – Local Cabbagetown resident Francine Dumont walks her 100 lbs Bullmastiff off leash because she’s really fucking cool. “Don’t worry, Max is super friendly!” called Dumont after a y…
Work from home commute delayed by three dog pileup
CALGARY – Traffic reports from the Morley household indicate that a massive three dog pileup is delaying multiple household commutes. “There’s fur everywhere, and you can still hear barking,” one…
Nation’s dogs just super here for everyone right now
VICTORIA, BC – Dogs across the nation report that they know you’re having a rough time lately and they’re ready to give you whatever the heck you need, okay? “Normally, my owner wakes me up with …
Local toddler says fuck your Daylight Saving Time
Brantford, ON – This morning adorable toddler Liam O’Reilly, 3, declared that Daylight Saving Time was a fucking joke and he would arise at his normal hour, even if that was technical…
