NAPANEE – A recent trip to the vet has drained hundreds of absolute units from your bank account after it was confirmed your furbaby was in perfect health. The vet was heckin’ thrilled to …
Tag: Dogs
Owner walking large dog off leash on sidewalk really fucking cool
TORONTO – Local Cabbagetown resident Francine Dumont walks her 100 lbs Bullmastiff off leash because she’s really fucking cool. “Don’t worry, Max is super friendly!” called Dumont after a y…
Work from home commute delayed by three dog pileup
CALGARY – Traffic reports from the Morley household indicate that a massive three dog pileup is delaying multiple household commutes. “There’s fur everywhere, and you can still hear barking,” one…
Nation’s dogs just super here for everyone right now
VICTORIA, BC – Dogs across the nation report that they know you’re having a rough time lately and they’re ready to give you whatever the heck you need, okay? “Normally, my owner wakes me up with …
Local toddler says fuck your Daylight Saving Time
Brantford, ON – This morning adorable toddler Liam O’Reilly, 3, declared that Daylight Saving Time was a fucking joke and he would arise at his normal hour, even if that was technical…
Citytv orders Rex & Rex, both cops, both dogs
TORONTO – After the success of buddy-cop-dog drama Hudson & Rex, Citytv has reportedly greenlit the spin-off Rex & Rex, both cops, both dogs. “We’re thrilled!” began Mark Scotts, th…
Nation’s lonesome travellers sick of telling wayward dogs to “g’on now, get”
BOXCAR JUNCTION – In a rare break from nomadic life, the nation’s lonesome travellers assembled today inside a moving freight car they all hopped into, to declare they are sick of telling w…
Jonathan Kay pretty sure cancel culture to blame for him using dog shampoo
TORONTO – After his tweet about mistakenly using dog shampoo for several months went viral, Canadian journalist Jonathan Kay has been hard at work explaining how exactly “the cancel culture…
Wanna feel old? Your childhood dog is dead and everything you care about is meaningless
Hey Millennials! Isn’t McDonalds still selling pizza? Aren’t acid washed jeans still in style? Aren’t we all enjoying life in its simple banality? Sorry fam, but the bogus truth is that time cont…
Study reveals that dogs in fact bork and do not bark
VANCOUVER, B.C – An extensive 38 year study conducted by the University of British Columbia into domesticated dogs species has revealed that every dog in the world actually doesn’t bark, bu…