LONDON, ON – Meeting in a vast pile of their own chartreuse shit, an assembly of Canadian Geese gathered to mark the annual renewal of their commitment to make every walk you take within th…
Tag: Canada Goose
Canada geese crossing highway fully aware of traffic jam they’re causing
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Government experimenting with universal basic as fuck income program
OTTAWA – Rolling-out a series of pilot projects across the nation, the federal government announced Friday that it is examining the effects of handing out free yoga pants, Starbucks cards, …
In effort to keep up with climate change, Canada Goose releases new line of fur-trimmed tank tops
TORONTO – After one of the warmest winters on record, the Canadian luxury parka manufacturer Canada Goose has pivoted into the burgeoning fur-lined tank top market. “Yes, climate change is …
Canada to sign Great Ape Research Ban as soon as we finish the Chimpan-Zed
OTTAWA – Facing pressure from animal rights groups, science Minister Kirsty Duncan announced today that Canada will sign an international ban against scientific experimentation on great ape…
White-hooded Warbler named Canada’s official nationalist bird
OTTAWA – Just hours after the Gray Jay was named Canada’s national bird, the White-hooded Warbler has been named Canada’s nationalist bird. “Yes, the friendly and resilient Gray Jay best re…