Leafs to fans: No, you suck!
TORONTO – Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke and a few of his players called a surprise press conference Thursday afternoon to lash back at fans that have been unsupportive of the club’s po…
Health Canada warns cases of voter fatigue syndrome may reach epidemic levels by election day
OTTAWA – When Todd Gleck experienced shooting pains throughout his upper body after being greeted by yet another political canvessor, the 41-year-old father of three figured he simply neede…
Bored dinner party guests upset Christ not performing miracles at table
MUSKOKA, ON – A couple hosting a dinner party at their Muskoka cottage reported frustration after repeated failed attempts to have their guest of honour, Jesus Christ, Author of Eternal Sal…
Health Canada releases new set of Fat Warning Labels
OTTAWA – Health Canada released a series of disturbing anti-inactivity, anti-junk food warning labels this week in an effort to combat the country’s high rates of obesity. The warnings will…
Book author finally lands Twitter deal
CALGARY – A Calgary woman has been offered a $6 million Twitter deal following years of successfully self-publishing in the book industry. “Matha Stanford’s witty, quirky 140 page novellas …
Black friend added to diversify Facebook friend list
EDMONTON, AB – Puplic relations employee Steve Wasley, 26, has made visible efforts to show his ability to connect with a variety of races and cultures by seeking out a black woman for his …
Jesus Christ stuck in big traffic jam
SOUTH GLENGARRY, – An overturned tractor trailer in the eastbound lane of the 401 near the Ontario-Quebec border is creating massive traffic jams and severe delays for Jesus Christ, who was…
