RCMP to find missing PMO emails by asking NSA

OTTAWA – To aid in its investigation of the Duffy-Wright expense scandal, the RCMP is seeking help from the NSA. “We have no working relationship with the PMO, or the Senate,” s…

Local white woman’s Chinese character tattoo reads ‘strength, cultural appropriation’

WELLAND, ON – A caucasian woman has impressed her friends and family with a new tattoo written in Chinese calligraphy that symbolizes her values of strength and appropriating a cultural sym…

SA sign language interpreter believed he was at shadow puppet competition

JOHANNESBURG – The man who stands accused of faking sign language during the Nelson Mandela memorial service is claiming that he was actually there for the annual South African Shadow Puppe…

Gifts in WestJet’s viral Christmas video taken from Air Canada’s lost luggage

TORONTO — In a move contrary to the apparent benevolence, most of the presents in the WestJet’s Christmas Miracle video were taken from Air Canada’s lost luggage room, re-boxed, wrapp…

Man that survived three days in boat air-pocket can’t adjust to non-air-pocket life

LAGOS – Months after being rescued from an air-pocket in an Atlantic shipwreck, Nigerian cook Harrison Odjegba Okene has decided that he’s not cut out for life on the “outside” anymore. “Th…

Wikileaks Secret Santa ends prematurely when identity of Secret Santa is posted online

THE INTERNET – What started as an effort to boost the morale of the activists who make up Wikileaks turned into a disaster Thursday when the details of the website’s Secret Santa gift excha…

Entire nation stuck behind single, slow-walking man

CANADA – Industry, government, and social gatherings ground to a halt today as every Canadian citizen found themselves unable to get around an Edmonton man out for a very leisurely stroll. …

Harper hopes cyberbullying law puts an end to circulating snapchats of Mulcair’s nipple

OTTAWA – Prime Minister Harper announced in a press conference yesterday that he sincerely hopes his anti-cyberbullying bill will end the disturbing stream of continuous and aggressive Snap…

McGill University: The Beaverton University Reviews

Name: McGill University Nickname: The Harvard of the North, Oxford of the West, the UCLA of the East, the University of Canberra of the North-Northeast, and the Moleman Episcopalian College of th…

Local couple saving to afford dream divorce

AURORA, ON – After two kids and 15 years of marriage, Pam and John Harris have begun saving up to afford the best divorce proceedings money can buy. “This is a real priority for both of us,…