Environmental scientists struggle to close giant hole in climate change denier’s layer of reasoning

GENEVA – Researchers at the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) are currently working hard to seal the chasmal gap in the arguments regurgitated by deniers of global climate change a…

After travel mix up, Stephen Harper accidentally signs free trade agreement with North Korea

PYONGYANG – After a pilot error took him to the wrong part of the Korean peninsula, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper mistakenly signed a free trade agreement with the North Korean Dem…

Former Sun News boss commences Phase II of plan to destroy Canada

MONTREAL – Former Quebecor CEO Pierre Karl Péladeau initiated the second phase of his secret seven point plan to sabotage Canada on Sunday when he announced he would be the Parti Québécois’…

Canadian Screen Awards cancelled after only two episodes

TORONTO – After a short two episode run, little watched and poorly advertised Canadian television program, the Canadian Screen Awards, was cancelled by the CBC today. “Unfortunately, given …

Justin Trudeau honours women on International Women’s Day by releasing photo spread of himself

OTTAWA – To celebrate International Women’s Day, Justin Trudeau is honouring the women of Canada by releasing a new photo spread of himself. “I’m recognizing the contribution of women in ou…

First ever wind-powered vehicle breaks land speed record, kills 53

Black Rock Desert, NEVADA – Cleantech automotive’s innovative wind-powered vehicle has shredded the world land speed record along with approximately 50 spectators. The new vehicle equipped …

Kim Jung-un boasts to West about North Korea’s record low obesity rate

PYONGYANG – North Korea’s supreme leader Kim Jong-un has bragged to Western leaders about his country’s resoundingly low obesity rate. “The Americans tremble at the ferocity of our citizens…

Archaeologists discover ancient subway buried beneath Toronto

THE LOST CITY OF TORONTO – Archaeologists from Simon Fraser University have uncovered the remains of an ancient transportation system below the surface of Canada’s largest settlement, in wh…

Progressive Pope gives up celibacy for Lent

HOLY SEE – Continuing the trend of his liberal reign as Catholicism’s spiritual leader, Pope Francis I has announced that he will be giving up celibacy for Lent this year. As modern traditi…

Baird threatens to send adrift Canadian warship in Russia’s general direction

KYIV – Foreign Minister John Baird has threatened to deploy the adrift warship HMCS Protecteur in the general direction of Russian waters if Russia does not pull its troops out of the Crime…