5 tips for tricking your mom into thinking her Mother’s Day gift isn’t from No Frills
Mother’s Day is almost here and your mom deserves a lovely gift for all she’s done for you… but you’re a busy person who really needs to stock up on some groceries, like bread a…
Rogers celebrates 20 years of higher than expected call volumes
TORONTO, ON – This week telecom giant Rogers Communications announced a record-breaking milestone – twenty straight years of customer service calls vastly exceeding what their meagre call c…
Danielle Smith demands referendum to separate measles from Albertans
EDMONTON – As Alberta suffers its worst measles outbreak since the 1980s, Premier Danielle Smith has called on Albertans to demand a better deal from the airborne disease. “As we all know, medi…
Rick Tocchet announced as NDP party leader
VANCOUVER – Just days after appointing MP Don Davies as their interim leader, the federal NDP have announced that the role will be permanently filled by Vancouver Canucks former head coach …
Carney resists urge to teach Trump meaning of words “tariff”, “economy”, and “chair”
“I think Trump’s greatest dream is to have a podcast where he is both the host and always the guest.” Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Megan MacKay, and …
In embarrassing snafu, starting line-up of St. Louis Cardinals included in Conclave to elect new pope
VATICAN CITY – In a clear administrative error by the Holy See, the recently convened Conclave to choose the next pope has mistakenly included both the entire College of Cardinals as well as the …
“At least Mel Gibson is still a good guy,” states man with the memory of a grape
Oakville, ON – Local goldfish Tim Wells just admitted while the news about how bad Neil Gaiman is, he’s glad that his favourite actor Mel Gibson still has a clean slate. “Thank god he’s nev…
Conservatives double down and pick older, whiter man
OTTAWA – The Progressive Conservative party has dropped Pierre Poilievre as its leader in favour of an even older, whiter man – Andrew Scheer. “It’s an honour to be replaced by someon…
24 Sussex officially becomes Brookfield Property
OTTAWA – Brookfield Property Partners (TSX: BPYPP) a real estate company of Brookfield Asset Management Inc., proudly announced today their new acquisition of marquee Ottawa heritage proper…
Canada upsets Puerto Rico and Washington DC by cutting statehood line
Washington DC – After months of Trump pontificating that Canada would make a great state, the US Department of the Interior has updated its “Statehood Waitlist.” Canada now has the top spot…
