Edmonton Oilers: NHL 2014-2015 Season Preview
Team: Edmonton Oilers Mascot: A middle aged man who won’t stop talking about the 1980s. 2013-14 Season: The Oilers entered the season with a lot of young, unproven talent who then proved themsel…
Dalhousie University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Name: Dalhousie Nickname: Smug and moist Motto: “Where Ontario comes to party” History: Founded in 1818, by George Ramsay, 9th Earl of Dalhousie, Dalhousie University didn’t hold its first cours…
UPDATE: Chinese government warns that democracy may make nation more like USA
HONG KONG – Chinese leaders continued to pressure Hong Kong protestors this week, giving them strong warnings that democracy could lead the nation down a dangerous path similar to that of t…
Winnipeg Jets: NHL 2014-2015 Season Preview
Team: Winnipeg Jets Mascot: The guy outside the arena still talking about Teemu Selanne’s rookie year. 2013-14 Season: Good enough not to leave again Key Additions: For some reason Winnipeg, the …
Canada’s first case of Ebola wondering where to find airport exit
MONTREAL – Canada’s first future Ebola patient has been aimlessly walking around in the arrivals section of Montreal’s airport for the past 15 minutes in a search for the exit. Harold Sidn…
Friend’s sense of self-worth measured in ‘likes’
HAMILTON, ON – Local communications officer Amanda Pilith measures her value to society in terms of how many ‘likes’ she receives on Facebook posts for her random musings, attempts at witti…
Toronto Maple Leafs: NHL 2014-2015 Season Preview
Team: Toronto Maple Leafs Mascot: An empty Platinum level seat 2013-14 Season: The Leafs managed to take the dramatic third period collapse in their Game 7 loss to the Bruins from the previous ye…
Local bully about to give other kid a great story for his one man show
Surrey, B.C. – Claiming he was “wearing a gay shirt,” local bully Chad “Two Hits” Richler had resolved to give fellow grade 5 student Jimmy Hill the kind of beating that will one day serve …
Costly feasibility study determines city of Toronto should be scrapped
TORONTO – After performing an in-house audit and hiring several third party firms to a total cost of over $683 million, the City of Toronto has determined it is too expensive to continue an…
