WASHINGTON, D.C. – Earlier this week, U.S. President Donald Trump was unable to remember the explicit instructions he was given to stop talking about Canada in order to help the man he’s tapped ...
Panicking Poilievre purportedly planning political pivot pending poll performance
PETERBOROUGH – Present polls panicking Pierre Poilievre, proving poor political performance, privy pals pronounced. “Pah! Pesky plebs!” pouted Poilievre. “Perhaps people picture Pierre Poilievre...
Bonhomme beheaded in tragic “Elbows Up” incident
QUÉBEC CITY, QC – Authorities are devastated to report that Bonhomme Carnaval, beloved snowman and symbol of Québécois pride, was beheaded at a Liberal rally this week following an order from Ma...
Mark Carney pretty sure being PM will be as easy as this election campaign has been
“I assume I’ll just show up and everything will unfold perfectly for me at all times right?” Guest host Ian MacIntyre and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Clare Blackwood and Diana McCallum) ...
Poilievre rushed to safety after actual journalist question makes it past security
CALGARY – During an outdoor campaign rally security rushed a shaken Pierre Poilievre to safety after he was tragically struck by a lone journalist’s question. “Mr. Poilievre was unha...
REPORT: Meeting you didn’t pay attention in could’ve been an email you didn’t read
MONTREAL – A new study into your workplace’s efficiency habits has found that all the meetings you zone out in at work could easily have been replaced with an email that you would’ve pretended t...
Snow White dethroned at box office by dimly lit video of man ranking Skittles flavours
Money, CA – After a few weeks breaking no records at the box office, Disney’s Snow White has finally been dethroned at the box office by a poorly shot video of a man ranking Skittles flavours. “...
Five fake facts about Canada Proud which we can publish because Facebook loves misinformation
Misinformation and misleading content on Facebook and Instagram from conservative advertising group Canada Proud have skyrocketed in the wake of Meta banning Canadian news from its platforms. Lucky fo...
Poilievre promises to make microplastics even bigger
MONTREAL – With a week left in the federal election, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre announced how if Canadians vote for him, he will bring back single use plastic and drastically increase the si...
Mark Carney questions why struggling young Canadians not setting up offshore tax havens
OTTAWA – At a recent campaign stop, Prime Minister Mark Carney admitted to being genuinely puzzled why more cash-strapped young Canadians aren’t using elite asset management firms to maxim...
