By Justin Trudeau In the wake of my recent election as leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, I’ve noticed that one or two media outlets have suggested that my success may somehow be related to my fat...
The Junos happened, sources report
OTTAWA- A Canadian awards show that honours musical achievements by Canadian artists and bands recently occurred, according to a number of sources. “Yep, that was this month, I think,” one source conf...
Local man disappointed ‘Medieval Times’ nothing like ‘Game of Thrones’
TORONTO – After an evening at the family dinner theatre ‘Medieval Times’, local ‘Game of Thrones’ aficionado and self-proclaimed medievalist David Brock departed in deep disappointment. “What wa...
Supreme Court of Canada Justice Morris Fish is retiring
Known as a staunch defender of civil liberties, Supreme Court of Canada Justice Morris Fish announced his retirement earlier this week. What’s your say? “I hope he receives a giant novelty...
RCMP to FBI following terrorist bust: ‘Whose hats look stupid now?’
TORONTO – Following yesterday’s arrest of two individuals accused of plotting a terrorist attack on a VIA rail train, officers of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were quick to point out that t...
UPDATE: Nation just wants spring to fucking happen
OTTAWA – Following a series of weeks with mixing of nice weather and cold weather, Canadians from all cities and provinces have gotten tired of this windy cold shit, and just want spring to fuck...
Maple Leafs on brink of first round playoff elimination
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs, currently 3rd in the North East Division, are looking to clinch a first round playoff elimination position tonight. Thanks to their success in the regular seas...
BREAKING: Stephen Hawking has Nobel Prize revoked in midst of doping scandal
ENGLAND – In what is only the latest incident in the scientist’s ongoing doping scandal, the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences announced today that they would be revoking Stephen Hawking’s nobel...
BC finally accepts Saskatchewan’s Facebook friend request
REGINA – Citing a really busy spell with work as one of the reasons for the delay and “not seeing much point to it” since they’re “pretty much neighbours,” the province o...
