Study: Being hated by Piers Morgan, Jordan Peterson et al. most likeable thing about Justin Trudeau
OTTAWA – A new study has found that for many Canadian voters, the biggest reason they would consider supporting Justin Trudeau in the next election is how mad he makes extremely online righ…
Blue Jays pair ‘Jr. Jays Sundays’ with ‘Dour Childless Mondays’
TORONTO – To supplement the Toronto Blue Jays’ family-oriented Sunday afternoon games, the organisation has announced that Monday night games will now be marketed at depressed, childless singles …
Chill as fuck medicine okay to consume with alcohol
Beaconsfield, QC – A generic store brand prescription medication, Padrazole, is making waves at a local house party after college rugby player, Luke Auden found out the stomach ulcer treati…
Alberta halts approval for all clean energy projects until they can be made dirtier
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has announced a moratorium on all pending renewable energy projects in Alberta until these projects can prove they will be just as detrimental to t…
Taylor Swift confirms Toronto is Canada’s Only City
TORONTO – Yesterday Taylor Swift announced plans to bring her Eras Tour to Canada with a 6 night run in the country’s only city. “I’m so excited to bring my show to THE ci…
White kid’s name spelled normally
OAKVILLE – Residents are expressing concern, as it was discovered today that a local white child’s name leverages a traditional spelling. Private and public citizens alike were aghast when …
Following announcement, Trudeau requests no questions regarding his separation or housing or inflation
OTTAWA – Following the surprise public announcement that he and wife Sophie Gregoire Trudeau will be separating, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has requested the media refrain from asking an…
Allegedly cis female athlete transitions to receive men’s salary
LISBON ― Accusations have been flying in the world of men’s track and field that one of the competitors from Portugal, Tiago Silva, does not really have gender dysphoria, and only transitioned be…
Blue Jays fan times bathroom breaks for when team has runners in scoring position to ensure he doesn’t miss any action
TORONTO – Die hard Jays fan Pat Ornelas has developed a perfect strategy for when to take bathroom breaks during lengthy games without missing anything exciting: he only goes when the team …
Toronto man who moved to Ottawa feeling right at home after seeing how shit their transit system is
OTTAWA – Born and raised Toronto man Kyle Chilton was nervous about moving to Ottawa when his job relocated, but says he is starting to feel at home after getting a good look at the broken …
