MOSCOW – Russian President Vladimir Putin is vowing a complete and thorough cover-up into the assassination of opposition leader Boris Nemtsov using all of the Russian state security and po…
World
Edward Snowden sick of Vladimir Putin just wanting to hang out all the time
MOSCOW – According to sources, NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden is getting sick and tired of having to spend much of his day “chilling” with Russian President, Vladimir Putin. Snowden, who …
Serial killer just 200 victims away from being national hero
IRAQ – Personally and individually responsible for the painful deaths of more than a hundred human beings, Sgt. Jeff Grenner is over a third of the way to being a national hero. “I never go…
Israel defends photo-bombing, claims selfie defence
BEIRUT – Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netenyahu defended Israel’s Miss Universe decision to photobomb Lebanon’s candidate claiming it was done in selfie defence. “Israel and her beauty p…
World Leaders march in Paris to defend their exclusive right to suppress journalists
PARIS – Dozens of World Leaders joined yesterday’s Charlie Hebdo solidarity march to send a message to terrorists that intimidation of media will not be tolerated, unless they are the ones doing …
French terrorists disappointed to discover satire doesn’t die
PARIS – With French authorities tracking them down, the gunmen who attacked a satirical news office were disheartened to discover that satire – and all other forms of gags, antics and…
Child’s wish ‘it could be Christmas today’ granted; havoc ensues
ST. JOHN’S – The entire world was thrown into chaos this week, as 6 year old Tyler Smith’s request that “I wish Christmas was already here” as he fell asleep was inexplicably and cruelly granted,…
Wal-Mart declares in-store murder legal on Black Friday
BENTONVILLE, AR – Based on the success of the recent Purge film series, retail giant Walmart has announced that, on Black Friday, all crimes, including murder, that are committed in Walmart…
Global warming causes last of Dali clocks to melt
NEW YORK, NY – A wealth of statistical evidence has impelled scientists at Columbia University to blame man-made climate change on the liquefication of the final clock in Salvador Dalí’s renowned…
