French terrorists disappointed to discover satire doesn’t die - The Beaverton

French terrorists disappointed to discover satire doesn’t die

– With French authorities tracking them down, the gunmen who attacked a satirical news office were disheartened to discover that – and all other forms of gags, antics and wisecracks – had not suddenly disappeared.

“I thought for sure we’d killed off the concept of humour,” said one gunman to another in their safehouse. “I can’t believe people are still making fun of us!”

Despite their brutal and heartless assault on the writers at , all forms of satire – from ‘knock-knock’ jokes and stand-up to sketch shows and even fake news publications – are still being made by millions all across the world.

“We tried firebombing it, shooting at it, stabbing it, but nothing seems to work,” said the getaway driver. “It’s as if satire lives within all of us, an unquenchable flame devoted to producing merriment in times of great tragedy.”

“If only people who were easily offended could shoot whoever they wanted, we’d live in a much safer world,” added the first gunman while sirens could be heard closing in on the hideout.

At press time, nous sommes Charlie.