WASHINGTON, DC – After waking up and fretting this morning’s conversation at the breakfast table, approximately 150 million American parents stammered their way through roughly the exact sa…
U.S.
Obituary for America
Sad news from Washington as the United States of America was found dead yesterday.…
Armed poll-watcher forgets to vote
ASHE COUNTY, NC – After spending a full 13 hours standing next to his local polling station holding an AR-15, Arliss Connaught has suddenly realized that he forgot to vote. “Well shoot,” sa…
After record ratings, CNN renews 2016 U.S. election for second season
ATLANTA – Only one day before the season finale CNN has announced it is renewing the 2016 presidential election for a second season in 2017. “Although American Democracy has been a tv insti…
Melania Trump reassures nation husband has moral agency of small boy
NEW YORK — In an interview yesterday with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, Melania Trump sought to calm public concern about her husband’s attitude toward sexual assault by reminding voters that he has the…
SOURCES: Canadian healthcare could take care of Trump’s sniffles
OTTAWA – After presidential candidate Donald Trump remarked that the Canadian healthcare system was “catastrophic,” experts at Health Canada say Trump’s constant sniffling could easily be t…
Americans pretty sure who these people are, why they’re debating, but can’t say exactly
FARMVILLE, VA – Having stumbled upon what seems to be an important political debate while channel surfing by PBS, the people of the United States are pretty certain who these two men are an…
3rd Amendment warrior warns Clinton will quarter soldiers in private homes without owner’s consent
Mobile, Alabama – 3rd Amendment values voter Rusty Scofield warns that Hillary Clinton secretly plans to abolish the US Constitution’s 3rd Amendment, in order to house soldiers in citizen’s…
BREAKING: Donald Trump’s 2015 tax return revealed
NEW YORK – Republican candidate Donald Trump’s 2015 tax return was recently leaked to the press and shows that the billionaire has claimed millions in business expenses and having an income…
Journalists criticize Clinton for not moderating debate
Hempstead, NY – Following the first debate of the 2016 United States presidential race, members of the media are furious that Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton for failing to moderate the …
