WASHINGTON D.C. – As the days wind down in the first and potentially only term held by President Trump, the Commander in Chief is reported to be spending his dwindling hours rubbing his penis ove…
U.S.
In rare show of bipartisanship only 95% of Republicans vote in favour of man who tried to kill them
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning display of bipartisanship nearly 5% of Republican Members of Congress voted to impeach the man who, exactly one week ago, sent a horde of white supremacists …
Trump not worried about second impeachment stating, “I already got impeached once, so now I am immune to it”
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has announced that he is not worried about his oncoming second impeachment as he “already has built up a strong immunity to it.” “Remember when you…
Trump spends weekend just fucking unloading on Tumblr
WASHINGTON D.C. – After getting himself permanently banned from social media sites including Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, President Donald J. Trump reportedly spent the entire weekend …
Trump releases another message to yesterday’s Capitol rioters: “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always”
WASHINGTON, DC – Following yesterday’s attempted coup, U.S. President Donald Trump has released a video message asking his supporters to stand down and adding that “he’ll love them forever,…
“Georgia saved America!” says American who called it a state of brainless hicks last week
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – “I’m so proud of Georgia for delivering the Senate to the Democrats,” lifelong Californian Steven Carter wrote on Facebook today, after recently dismissing the entire st…
Canadian physios overwhelmed as nation injured patting itself on the back
FORT LANGLEY, BC – Physiotherapists nationwide are reporting a sudden influx of Canadians who have been injured trying to pat themselves on the back after witnessing the chaos erupting in t…
Twitter suspends Trump’s Twitter account after waking up from four-year coma
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Twitter finally suspended Donald Trump’s account for twelve hours today after the President released a video praising a violent mob of his supporters who stormed the Uni…
Capitol Hill Police too tied up with 3 BLM protesters to deal with storming of Congress
WASHINGTON D.C. – Capitol Hill Police were unable to deal with hundreds of Trump supporters who stormed the Congressional Building earlier today since most of their resources were aimed at …
Energized Trump scrambling to fit in as much treason as possible before term ends
Washington D.C. – The White House has witnessed a whirlwind of activity since the election as outgoing president Donald Trump is determined to commit as much treason as he can during his sh…
