WASHINGTON D.C. – Officials inside the Trump White House are beaming with pride after US Secretary of War Pete Hegseth was able to complete the classic Canadian children’s book Franklin Fib…
U.S.
Marco Rubio reveals Ukraine Peace Plan confusion caused by trip to Liquor Dome
HALIFAX – U.S. lawmakers attending the Halifax International Security Forum reveal that confusion around a leaked peace plan for Ukraine were caused by Secretary of State Marco Rubio spendi…
JD Vance slams Canada after being rejected by sexy chesterfield
WASHINGTON D.C. – American Vice President JD Vance has posted online, slamming the country of Canada’s economic and immigration policies, which insiders reveal stems from hurt feeling…
Alex Jones launches GoFundMe to make face even puffier
AUSTIN, TX – Radio show host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is once again reaching out to his listener base for help with a new GoFundMe campaign to make his face even more ruddy-lookin…
Kevin O’Leary petitions Trump to have name added to Epstein Files
TORONTO – With newly released files from notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein implicating President Trump in a world of elite, amoral power players, Canadian businessman Kevin O’L…
Trump accuses all 342 million Americans of also being in Epstein Files
WASHINGTON D.C. – With the release of thousands of emails from notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein implicating President Donald Trump, the POTUS is deflecting by boldly alleging that e…
“Trump is a pedophile” email raises questions about whether Trump is a pedophile
WASHINGTON, D.C. – With many of Jeffrey Epstein’s documents and emails now available to the public, subtle messages from the disgraced financier like “Donald Trump is a sex criminal I have done s…
President Trump pardons the Hamburglar
McDonalds, D.C. – US President Donald Trump has added to his list of pardons another well-known criminal, McDonald’s mascot The Hamburglar. “He is a really great guy, this guy,” stated Trum…
Canada offers to support American “NO KINGS” protest, draws line at “NO QUEENS”
OTTAWA – With millions across America taking part in today’s planned “No Kings” protest, Canadians have signalled their willingness to lend support – though emphasiz…
Pentagon warns Toronto ‘dangerously close’ to winning World Series
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following last night’s elimination of the New York Yankees, the United States Department of War has advised the White House that the Toronto Blue Jays are “per…
