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Toronto
80% of TTC wifi traffic just emails explaining lateness
TORONTO – A new study published by an independent technology research group says that 80% of the Toronto Transit Commission’s new free Wi-Fi network activity is just emails communicat…
Rob Ford signs multi-thousand dollar tracksuit sponsorship deal
TORONTO — Former Toronto mayor Rob Ford has just announced a lucrative multi-thousand dollar tracksuit deal with Adidas. After recently having signed NBA heartthrob James Harden, Adidas’ is…
Toronto undoes belt, lets gut out as TIFF concludes
TORONTO — Following the conclusion of the annual Toronto International Film Festival, the city itself let out a sigh, loosened the collar of its dress shirt and undid its belt, unleashing i…
Canadian man swims in pool record-breaking three times this summer
OAKVILLE, ON — Oakville local Richard Fisk swam in his backyard pool a staggering three times this summer, shattering the national personal pool swimming record. Said Fisk of the record-bre…
Toronto alleviates traffic issues with controlled cull of drivers
TORONTO – After years of downtown gridlock and extremely slow rush hour traffic, the Toronto city council has approved a controlled cull of drivers to help reduce their population numbers. …
Man forms meaningful relationship with Tinder spam-bot
TORONTO – A local man has formed an unlikely but surprisingly deep and meaningful relationship with a spam-bot after they met on the mobile dating app, Tinder. Jesse Green was initially ver…
Toronto City Hall demands tighter kickbacks from Uber
TORONTO – In the wake of a crackdown on UberX drivers, city of Toronto officials are demanding that Uber comply with the same stringent code of semi-legal bribery that currently governs the…
Pan Am games to hold all hurdling competitions on Highway 400 HOV lane
TORONTO – Less than 48 hours before opening ceremonies, the Pan Am games organizers have announced that the 110 and 400 metre hurdle events will be moved from the stadium at York University…
Bill Blair wins Liberal candidacy after kettling nomination meeting
TORONTO – Former Toronto police chief Bill Blair has won the Liberal Party nomination in the riding of Scarborough Southwest after kettling the nomination meeting. Saying that it was the mo…
