New Westminster, BC- The world of 3D printing has opened the door to one of the greatest of human sexual fantasies; having sex with a realistic facsimile of one’s self. “This is the greatest adva…
Science and Technology
YouTube Commenter mourns the loss of his freedom to anonymously post “PENIS”
Bismarck, ND – Jason Friedman was shaken by the discovery that his hard-earned freedom to post inflammatory comments under an assumed name had been revoked by YouTube. Friedman, the troll f…
Thousand monkeys fill thousand typewriters with poop
MONTREAL – Sealed in the “Monkey Chamber” beneath Redpath library, the thousand monkeys tasked with creating the next great work of English literature have succeeded only in filling their t…
Yahoo Mail users confused by revamped features, email in general
WORLDWIDE – Despite the release of numerous online tutorials and step-by step instructions, Yahoo mail users worldwide report extreme confusion around the upgraded design of the email servi…
BBM for Android: Blackberry users now only a functional phone away from being connected with the world
WATERLOO, ON – The release of BlackBerry Messenger (BBM) for iPhone and Android this week prompted waves of excitement amongst Blackberry owners who are now only a working phone away from b…
Lab-grown meat refuses to stop screaming
MAASTRICHT, NETHERLANDS – A series of synthetic beef hamburgers grown in vitro at the University of Maastricht have begun screaming, and have resisted all attempts by researchers to get the…
Physicists discover black hole in social life
TORONTO – After spending years in virtual isolation from the outside world, a team of astrophysicists at the University of Toronto have confirmed the existence of a supermassive black hole at the…
New study finds sunscreen makes you look stupid
VICTORIA – According to a groundbreaking new study from the University of Victoria, applying sunscreen drastically increases your chances of looking stupid. Researchers analyzed data from o…
Newly separated astronomer discovers planet said to be capable of sustaining wife
TORONTO – A shocking announcement made earlier this week by recently single astronomer Dr. Larry Gradenfeld claims the discovery of a new planet in the Eagle Nebula that could potentially s…
Scientists successfully clone, ride wooly mammoth
WAKO, TOKYO, JAPAN – Scientists from Japan’s RIKEN Institute in greater Tokyo have successfully cloned a wooly mammoth for the purpose of being able to ride it. The still-growing fema…
