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Science and Technology
Hyphen fails to become dash
TORONTO – While working late into the evening on an overdue philosophy essay using Microsoft Word, university student Michael Stefanescu’s hyphen failed to become a dash. “Lette…
Tornado hunter becomes the tornado hunted
SARNIA, ON – After taking the ‘Storm-mobile’ on a tour of Tornado Alley, local tornado hunter Jasper ‘Tornado’ Jackson says that his instincts tell him that he is “being stalked.” “I got to…
New Blackberry 10 allows users dozens of new ways to communicate about how shitty their Blackberry is
NEW YORK – Amid both fanfare and speculation about the device’s future, Research in Motion unveiled their new Blackberry 10 operating platform on Wednesday. The system, which will be availa…
Halo 4 giving gamer Call of Duty flashbacks
MANNING, AB – After sitting down to enjoy his recently purchased copy of Halo 4, local gamer Lucas Bordfeld began experiencing flashbacks to his days of game-play on the more realistic firs…
Bored CERN scientists discover what happens to cat in Large Hadron Collider
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – Researchers at CERN, left with little to do after completing the majority of experimentation toward the confirmation of the Higgs Boson, put a live cat into the Large …
Time traveller mocked by future people for vestigial organs
WINDSOR, ON – 72-year-old time traveller Jack Prentice, recently returned from a voyage into the future whose goal was to discover the mystery of human development, called a press conferenc…
