Deepak stands for experience, responsible spending, and leveraging this whole thing into a cushy job.…
Politics
Kevin O’Leary vows to prioritize mediocrity over diversity
OTTAWA – A day after declaring the prime minister’s cabinet was mediocre because ‘diversity’ was prioritized, Kevin O’Leary has vowed to prioritize mediocrity instead. “If elected, I will e…
Leitch releases ‘Canadian values’ questions designed to catch the most honest terrorists
OTTAWA — Conservative Leadership candidate Kellie Leitch has released her list of “Canadian values test” questions, which she promises will catch terrorists provided they never, ever tell a…
Chris Alexander denies claim that he is Chucky doll
Our conservative party funded ads continue today with leadership candidate Chris Alexander.…
Quebec prison features first all-politician basketball team
MONTREAL – A Quebec prison now showcases a basketball team exclusively made up of former municipal and provincial politicians within the penitentiary’s sports league. While the squad …
Premier Kathleen Wynne to cut hydro rates from WHAT THE FUCK? to Holy Shit!
TORONTO – In an effort to make Ontario hydro bills more affordable, Premier Kathleen Wynne announced a 25% cut in electricity rates this year, bringing the average monthly bill down from th…
Kellie Leitch jumps in polls after eating live dove during leadership debate
OTTAWA – Kellie Leitch has emerged as a favourite in the Conservative leadership race after a strong showing at the Manning debate wherein she devoured an entire live dove to the raucous ap…
O’Leary slams Edmonton debate as “terribly bilingual”
BOSTON – Conservative leadership hopeful Kevin O’Leary announced this week that he would not participate in the party’s upcoming candidates’ debate in Edmonton, denouncing the event as “terribly …
Kellie Leitch proves commitment to shitty Canadian production values
OTTAWA – Conservative leadership hopeful Kellie Leitch has released a campaign video demonstrating that she has her finger on the pulse of traditional Canadian culture and it’s terrib…
Lonely Thomas Mulcair adopts 44 stray cats
OTTAWA – NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair has adopted yet another stray cat, bringing the total number of felines in his one-bedroom apartment in Ottawa to 44. Mulcair made the announcement on soc…
