MISSION, BC – A very large family of over 700 are disappointed to hear that the Conservative Party of Canada had rejected all of their party memberships under the suspicion that they were acquired fraudulently.
John Smith, the family’s patriarch, explained that all of his members from his immediate family are aged 14 and older and live in a three bedroom home.
“It’s just so unfair that they would punish us for obtaining memberships with the same IP address,” said an outraged Smith. “We only have one internet connection in our household and one computer. It took us six months of work just to sign up the 713 of us.”
The family’s matriarch, who is also named John Smith, explained that they had to use pre-paid credit cards as all of their employers pay them in cash.
“Our religion forbids us from having bank accounts so we can’t send personal cheques,” explained Mrs. Smith.
But the real impact was felt among the youngsters in the family who are now disqualified from voting for the next Tory leader.
“I was really looking forward to participating in democracy,” lamented John Smith’s son, John. “How will we defeat Justin Trudeau in 2019, now?”
In related news, the Conservative Party said it will donate over $20,000 acquired in the supposed fraud to a needy oilsands corporation.
