QUEEN’S PARK – Amid the Greenbelt controversy that has surrounded the Ford Government, Housing Minister Steve Clark has announced plans to celebrate the Labour Day holiday by resignin…
Ontario
Nova Scotians board up windows and gather supplies in preparation for incoming Dalhousie Students
HALIFAX – Following a trying summer of forest fires and floods, Halifax once again scrambles to ready themselves for its next force majeure: the annual deluge of wealthy Ontarians to Dalhou…
Report: There’s no College of Satire Writers, so we’re allowed to call Jordan Peterson a hateful little bitch without consequence
TORONTO – The Ontario Divisional Court has upheld the College of Psychologists’ determination that, due to his hateful tweets and comments, training on social media etiquette will be requir…
Emboldened Doug Ford sells off Brampton
QUEEN’S PARK – Following the minimal fallout of the recent Greenbelt scandal, where Ontario’s Conservative Government took orders from connected property developers to allow dev…
Doug Ford clarifies Strong Mayors are the ones that can lift him
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has expanded on the “strong mayor” powers he gave certain municipalities earlier this year, stating they only apply to mayors who …
Doug Ford promises new Science Centre will be more accessible to dumb people
TORONTO – Ontario premier Doug Ford unveiled his plans for a new version of the Ontario Science Centre, which he claims fixes a critical flaw in the attraction; that it requires too much in…
Doug Ford’s niece announces theme of her Sweet 16 will be Urban Development Opportunities
TORONTO – Marcella Ford, niece of Ontario Premier Doug Ford, has announced that her upcoming Sweet 16 Birthday Party will have the theme of Urban Development Opportunities. “A lot of …
Doug Ford moves to protect 1.8 million acres of urban sprawl from encroachment of Greenbelt
PICKERING, ON – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has passed legislation that will help protect precious low-density housing, winding streets, and majestic parking lots from the encroachment of the…
Ford unsure if he should sell Ontario healthcare system to Loblaws, Tim Hortons, or Nestlé
QUEEN’S PARK – As Premier Doug Ford announces that he will expand surgeries available at for-profit clinics, insiders report he is still deciding which megacorporation to eventually sell On…
