TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford has announced his plan to encourage vaccine hesitant people to finally get vaccinated: end the vaccine passport system that encourages them to get vaccinated. &#…
Ontario
Doug Ford clarifies he just meant that non-white immigrants didn’t work hard enough
QUEEN’S PARK – After coming under fire for remarks that immigrants who “collect the dole and sit around” should “go somewhere else,” Ontario Premier Doug Ford clarified that he only m…
Doug Ford announces all policies will now be based on 2008 Jim Carrey film ‘Yes Man’
TORONTO – After declaring himself the Premier who says Yes, Doug Ford has revealed that he made the decision after re-watching the moderate Jim Carrey hit ‘Yes Man.’ “Folk…
Ford exempts MPP from vaccine citing medical condition that causes her to lie about vaccination status
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is defending one of his MPPs for misrepresenting her vaccination status saying that she now has a medical condition that causes her to lie about her vacc…
Business refusing to enforce vaccine passport has been violating labour laws for years in preparation for this moment
TORONTO – Saying the moment he has been waiting for was finally here, David McGrath, owner of Tito’s Bar and Grill, proudly announced that those who were not vaccinated were just as welcome…
Doug Ford says he’s saving all the federal COVID money to buy Ontario a pizza party when pandemic ends
TORONTO – As the billions of relief dollars sent to Ontario by the federal government continue to sit unused, Doug Ford is promising all citizens that, when the time is right, he will spend…
“Why won’t someone do something about these terrible hospital protests,” says Doug Ford
TORONTO – As Anti-Vaxxers conduct aggressive, threatening protests outside hospitals across Ontario, many Ontarians are expressing outrage and wondering why government officials don’t…
Ontarian prince promises a wealth of governance in exchange for small up-front fee
QUEEN’S PARK – Citizens of Ontario were surprised to find an unknown letter tucked amongst their usual mail promising them the untold riches of capable governance. The letter was sent by th…
Ford and Lecce present their back to school safety plan, “Pick the sick kids last during Phys-ed”
QUEENS PARK – After delaying for as long as possible, Doug Ford and Stephen Lecce have finally revealed their back to school safety plan, which is for kids to pick the sicker kids last duri…
Andrea Horwath announces bold plan to never, ever, ever become premier
TORONTO – Ontario NDP leader Andrea Horwath announced that she would oppose mandatory COVID vaccinations for teachers, yet another plank in her expansive new plan to never become Ontario’s …
