OTTAWA – Auditor General Michael Ferguson has re-released his yearly fall report, the major changes to last year being a shiny new insignia and this years date on the cover page. “Unlike the gove…
National
Conservative Party Leadership Profile: Maxime Bernier
Name: Maxime Bernier Background: Maxime Bernier, nicknamed “Mad Max” by the wasteful Department of Unnecessary Nicknames, is Canada’s most libertarian contender in the Conservative Party Leadersh…
BREAKING: Minister of Fisheries inches way to top of mast as sharks circle his sinking vessel
INTERNATIONAL WATERS – With the lower decks taking on water and all his life rafts destroyed, Minister of Fisheries Dominic LeBlanc is climbing to the top of his ship’s mast in order to esc…
Canada sends another 100,000 military advisors to northern Iraq
OTTAWA – Insisting once again that Canadian forces in northern Iraq are only there to ‘advise and assist’, the government announced today they would be sending over another 100,000 of them.…
Conservative Party Leadership Profile: Michael Chong
Name: Michael Chong Background: As Minister of Sport in the Harper Cabinet, he was the backup goaltender for Team Canada’s hockey team during the 2006 Turin Olympics and had a 3.25 GAA. Chong wak…
Government announces plan to develop Canadian artists by inflicting tragedy upon them
Miguel Rivas reports on Canada Council for the Arts “innovative” new approach to funding Canadian artists.…
Poll: Canada remains starkly divided over milk bags versus milk jugs
OTTAWA – A new Angus-Reid poll released today has shown more Canadians are sharply divided on regional grounds over what type of milk containers they use. 96% of Canadians who live in Ontar…
White-hooded Warbler named Canada’s official nationalist bird
OTTAWA – Just hours after the Gray Jay was named Canada’s national bird, the White-hooded Warbler has been named Canada’s nationalist bird. “Yes, the friendly and resilient Gray Jay best re…
Justin Trudeau apologizes to indigenous peoples for the mistreatment they will suffer for the next 150 years
In a brave and compassionate maneuver Canada’s Prime Minister finally apologized to first nations peoples for all the terrible things the government of Canada will soon be doing to t…
Conservative Party Leadership Profile: Brad Trost
Name Brad Trost Background While his precise birth date is unknown, archaeologists have determined Trost was born sometime around 1095 AD at the beginning of the Crusades. He studied geophysics a…
