OTTAWA – DNA tests has confirmed Canada’s first prime minister, Sir John A. Macdonald, is the Father of Confederation after 148 years of denial and unpaid child support. Queen Victoria said…
National
Ottawa recognizes foreign credentials of skilled immigrants with automatic taxi license
OTTAWA – Immigration Minister Chris Alexander has announced a new program to attract the most desirable economic immigrants by promptly issuing them a cab license. “Canada has a labour shor…
Gingerbread housing market expected to crumble
NORTH CHRISTMASLAND – A team of economists have released a report detailing an impending price drop in the gingerbread housing market. “Gingerbread families can’t afford the mortgages baker…
Ottawa man fighting for ISIS calls for lone wolf attacks, unless anyone wants to hang out
OTTAWA – The terrorist group ISIS has released a video of Canadian John Maguire calling on his fellow Muslim countrymen to carry out lone-wolf attacks, unless any of them want to grab a bit…
MacKay: ‘Remember our brave troops during the Montreal Massacre Anniversary’
OTTAWA – Justice Minister Peter MacKay has reminded Canadians to honour Canadian soldiers on the 25th anniversary of the Montreal Polytechnique Massacre. “I urge all Canadians to remember t…
Fantino promises another $200 million to vets of the Boer War
OTTAWA – Veterans Affairs Minister Julian Fantino has announced over $200 million to be spend on veterans who participated in the South African Boer War. “Our veterans bravely served for Ki…
Snot-nosed idiot with small penis loses libel case
Media personality Ezra Levant, who has been described by thousands as “snot nosed”, “vapid”, and whose penis is well-known to be “literally the smallest”, has lost a libel suit brought against hi…
Sun Media publishes retraction of last 18 years worth of articles
OTTAWA – After mistakenly attributing several politically incorrect comments to Liberal MP Marlo Raynolds, Sun Media has reviewed its archives and found that nearly all of its content from …
Jian Ghomeshi not entirely turned on by Toronto Police’s handcuffs
TORONTO – After being released on bail Wednesday afternoon, sources say disgraced CBC radio personality, Jian Ghomeshi, was not as turned on by the Toronto Police handcuffs as he had expected to …
