KINGSTON, ON – Tired of giving up halfway through her daytime workouts, Kate Brown starts all her 5 km runs after 9:30 pm to ensure she stays motivated and afraid. “I’m just not a gym person,” Ka…
Local
Neutral Samaritan takes note of mugging
WINDSOR, ON- An armed mugging was dramatically not foiled last night by local neutral Samaritan Kyle Gierst. Gierst, who witnessed the incident from across the street, took complete notice, and o…
After-work nap turns into full night’s sleep
MONCTON, NB — Arising from a particularly restful nap, Terry Roman discovered that her after-work doze turned out to be a full blown night’s sleep. “It’s just so unbelievable,” claimed an u…
100% of local woman’s friends pregnant
Victoria, B.C. – Vanessa Grafton, 29, recently realized that every single one of her close friends is currently knocked up. “The situation didn’t really set in at first,” said Grafton. “I j…
Local woman stays just informed enough to be angry and sad all the time
ST. JOHN’S — Local marketing consultant Ashley McEwan is focusing on her own emotional well-being by reading precisely enough news to be filled with pervasive existential dread at all times…
Local Dad reaches that age where he smells like a damp library
WINNIPEG – As he enters his late 50s Henry Adamson, father of three and grandfather of two, has, like so many men before him, started to smell like an old library that recently experienced …
Weeks later and nothing has changed for accountant who starred in Fringe show
WINNIPEG, MB – Several weeks after starring in a nine-day run of his one-person show, “Pobody’s Nerfect,” absolutely nothing has changed in the life of local accountant Ryan Ward, whose dre…
Grade eight student really banking on new sneakers to turn things around for him
Hamilton, ON – After a tumultuous grade seven school year, Steven Littlewood 13, of Middleberry Public school has decided a new pair of running shoes will surely change everything. “I…
Local fly is certain THIS window is the way out
LIVING ROOM – A local fly is convinced that after numerous false starts and window collisions, he’s finally figured out how to get back outside. “I’m feeling really good about this window,”…
Couple enjoys romantic picnic dead centre of park’s off-leash area
Oshawa, ON – Sid and Sandy Jackson got their fifth wedding anniversary off to a charming start by having a celebratory picnic right in the middle of the off leash dog area of Lakefront West…
