KINGSTON – After a local teen was arrested on suspicion of a terrorist plot, residents were baffled to discover the incident had no apparent connection with Queen’s University or its students. “Y…
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Man makes fun of grandmother for plastic-covered couch on phone encased in 2 pounds of rubber
VANCOUVER – Hoping a joke about his grandmother’s twenty year old couch covered in plastic will resonate with his 237 Instagram followers, Kyle Anderson, 24, recently posted about it from h…
Everyone super impressed by big bathtub
Oakville, ON – After taking a group of friends and relatives on a tour of his recently renovated house, Tom H. Fulton, 56, was pleased to observe several “oohs” and “aahs” at the reveal of …
Alberta is “Canadian Texas” says man from Canadian Michigan
OSHAWA – While on a third date with a Tinder match, Alex Phillips refers to Alberta as “Canadian Texas,” despite living in Canadian Michigan. “It’s really as backwar…
Man who sexually harassed coworkers wants everyone to know he sincerely regrets losing his job
CALGARY – A long, bright career ended today following dozens of accusations of sexual harassment against Larry Branson, and he is holding nothing back as he expresses his deep, heartfelt re…
Local man still slipping
OTTAWA – Martin Hendricks, 43, emerged from his house this morning and immediately began slipping on the ice build up on his driveway, only for the process of him falling to go on for an un…
Psychopath still wishing everyone Happy New Year
HAMILTON – Although it is now well into January, local maniac Andy Gerhard is still going around wishing people a “Happy New Year.” “It came up completely out of the blue,” said Gerha…
Female championship gamer admits she really was faking it to attract men all along
TORONTO — After 10 years, thousands of hours of obsessive gameplay, and four world championship wins, gaming prodigy Jasmine Johnson has finally announced the truth about why, as a woman, s…
‘I’m training for a marathon’ says woman to anyone
Hamilton, ON – Local woman, Sarah Kinst, has decided to combat the winter blues by participating in the “Around The Bay” marathon and informing anyone within a three kilometer radius to her…
Breaking: Cat unimpressed
KAMLOOPS, BC – After several alarming reports, we can now confirm that the Jacobs family house cat, Jojo, is not having any of it. “He won’t eat, he won’t respond to his name. He’s just kind of s…
