EDMONTON – In an alarming new report from the Public Health Agency of Canada, one handbag embellished with several hand sanitizer keychains has become the nation’s only hope against an impe…
Health
Ontario Medical Association apologizes for calling recreational cannabis a gateway drug by offering free opioid prescriptions
TORONTO – OMA President Dr Nadia Alam has issued an apology to all recreational cannabis users for calling the soon-to-be-legal substance a gateway drug and is offering free prescriptions t…
Study: Doing yoga makes you three times more likely to tell people you do yoga
CALGARY — Scientists at the University of Calgary have discovered that the most likely outcome of committing to a yoga regime is telling people that you do yoga. Dr. Gerald Rutker went into…
Yoga instructor who just finished two-week course excited to damage people’s spines
Kitsilano, BC — Newly certified yoga instructor Danielle Neal is looking forward to opening the hearts and warping the spines of members of her community. Neal’s fast-tracked “Power Yoga Tr…
Study: sitting is the new smoking, and lying down is the new getting addicted to heroin
VANCOUVER – A new study released from UBC Medical School has confirmed the long held suspicion that sitting for extended periods of time is just as harmful as smoking a pack a day, and adde…
Local woman runs at night because her greatest motivator is fear
KINGSTON, ON – Tired of giving up halfway through her daytime workouts, Kate Brown starts all her 5 km runs after 9:30 pm to ensure she stays motivated and afraid. “I’m just not a gym person,” Ka…
Pfizer says EpiPen shortage will not affect critical supply of Viagra
OTTAWA – One of the world’s largest pharmaceutical corporations issued a reassuring statement about availability of one of its most profitable and therefore life-saving prescription drugs t…
Local woman evangelizing for new diet like a burning bush told it to her
WINNIPEG – Since starting a ketogenic diet 4 days ago, Garden City resident Raekell Griggs has begun trying to recruit friends for the diet with a fervour usually only found in those who ar…
Service dogs now trained to assist women who provide emotional labour
GUELPH, ON – As part of a pilot program introduced this spring at the University of Guelph, the roles of service dogs trained to support mental health are being expanded to include assistan…
Smell of burnt toast convinces entire Diner they’re about to have a seizure
OTTAWA – Recalling only a few seconds of that Canadian Heritage Moment, every patron of a local diner was immediately certain they were about to have a seizure after the kitchen burnt two p…
