TORONTO – On a beautifully cloudless day in downtown Toronto, millions of gays, LGBTQ supporters, and people of all walks gathered to remember a time when homosexuals couldn’t get gou…
Culture
Fans detach selves emotionally to prepare for Game of Thrones season finale
CANADA – Fans of the hit HBO program Game of Thrones nationwide began to sever any and all of their connections with their favourite characters, fearing that yet another of the show’s…
Game of Thrones to raise revenue with product integration
LONDON — In the wake of discussions about how the popular fantasy saga Game of Thrones can maintain profitability as more and more viewers choose to illegally download rather than pay to view the…
123 Sesame Street torn down to make way for condos
SESAME STREET – Referring to the iconic location as an “eyesore”, Vancouver-based developers have announced plans to tear down 123 Sesame Street and replace it with a pair of 40-storey luxu…
New ‘Star Wars’ film casts Hollywood newcomer Mark Hamill
LOS ANGELES – Lucasfilm has released a photo from a recent table read of the new Stars Wars script, revealing the new leads to be John Boyega, Adam Driver, Daisy Ridley, and exciting unknow…
Report: ‘Hello Kitty’ actually best possible outcome of Kroeger/Lavigne collaboration
TORONTO – According to a recent study from the University of Toronto Faculty of Music, Avril Lavigne’s derided single “Hello Kitty” is, “when you think about it, literally the best thing th…
Christians celebrate sacred resurrection of church attendance
PORT COLBORNE, ON – Millions of Christians across the world from all sects are celebrating the miraculous resurrection of church attendance today. Pews were packed with the reluctant faithf…
Local pulp mill improves matzah recipe
DRYDEN – After hearing numerous complaints, a pulp mill in Dryden, Ontario has decided to amend its method of manufacturing matzah bread on the eve of the Passover holiday. The Dryden Mill, which…
Stephen Colbert named new guy who older married couples fall asleep to
NEW YORK – CBS has announced that Stephen Colbert will take over for David Letterman as their flagship guy who puts married upper middle class Americans to sleep every night. “I look forwar…
