LETHBRIDGE, AB – Refusing all social invitations and ordering in his meals, local resident Bill Grenley, 32, is reportedly savouring the last few precious moments he has to fully enjoy Wood…
Culture
Nation responds to Ellen Page coming out as gay: ‘Okay, cool’
OTTAWA – After learning the news that Canadian actress Ellen Page, best known for her role in Juno, is gay, the nation agreed that it was ‘good’. “I didn’t know she was gay but now I do,” H…
Communist baby-eater Drake tired of media misconstruing his opinions
LOS ANGELES – Communist and notorious eater of human babies Drake, made headlines today when he announced over Twitter his decision to no longer do interviews due to the misinterpretation o…
La Poutine Week: Most popular dishes
Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa and Quebec City will be hosting La Poutine Week from February 1st until the 7th. Here are some of the more popular dishes being served: Poutini 5 parts french fries, 3 p…
Fabio announces plans to not stand shirtless on a mountaintop
MILAN – In a startling career move, the Italian model, spokesman and actor Fabio Lanzoni announced earlier today that his next project would be to not stand topless on the peak of a mountai…
Reader surprised to discover Hemingway’s ‘Farewell to Arms’ not about author’s loss of limbs
Surrey, BC – Readers everywhere were shocked when they realized that Ernest Hemingway’s classic war novel A Farewell to Arms was not about the graphic loss of the author’s limbs. “A l…
Americans celebrate their version of The Junos
LOS ANGELES, CA – The American counterpart to Canada’s largest music industry awards show celebrated their best-and-brightest stars Sunday evening, with a gala event that rivals even the gl…
Tarantino scraps film after leaked screenplay reveals movie involves revenge
HOLLYWOOD — Writer and director Quentin Tarantino recently announced that he no longer intends to produce his upcoming western film, Hateful Eight, after a major leak revealed that the movie will…
Batman vs. Superman movie pushed back to 2016 because it’s going so awesome
HOLLYWOOD – A spokesperson for Warner Brothers announced this week that the planned sequel to “Man Of Steel” would have its release date postponed by a year, purely because the project was …
TED Talk solves third world hunger in first world
BRAMPTON – Attendees left last Saturday’s TEDxBrampton event inspired by John McGeorge’s innovative four-point synergistical plan to solve third world hunger in the first world. In a 12 min…
