NEW YORK – Publishing giant Penguin Random House has announced a new self-help book by a man who, in defiance of every credible medical professional, adopted a dangerous all-beef diet and fell in…
Culture
Hollywood begins search for the right cis actor to play Elliot Page in eventual biopic
HOLLYWOOD – After an announcement by Oscar-nominated Canadian actor Elliot Page that he is trans, major studio executives have begun the search for the perfect cis actor to step into the “E…
Prince William furious at the portrayal of his yummy little baby botty-bottom
With the release of the latest season of The Crown, The Duke of Cambridge, Prince William is reportedly furious at the portrayal of his cute as a button, royal little baby bottom. Taking place i…
Local murderers team up for podcast on white women
MILLHAVEN, ON – Earlier this month, local murderers George Robinson and Jeffrey Erb debuted their podcast My Favourite White Girl to immediate success. Calling in from Millhaven Correctiona…
Struggling single mother awarded grant to continue pursuing her fledgling music career
LOS ANGELES – In an effort to support emerging artists, Canadian arts subsidy program Factor awarded a $90,000 grant to Grimes, a musician-singer and songwriter. Just like the thousands of …
Straight man brags about being only straight man in theatre school
MISSISSAUGA – Local straight man and recent theatre school graduate Michael Gibson has bragged about being the only straight man in his year. “There were about 50 people in my class and of …
The Crown blasted for repeated portrayal of Britain
UNITED KINGDOM – After the release of the fourth season of The Crown on Netflix, critics are slamming the show for it’s repeated depiction of Great Britain. “Ugh look at them lampooning ol’…
Local man’s Donald Trump-Apocalypse Now analogy falls apart instantly
CHATHAM – Over a zoom cocktail hour with friends, local dentist Doug Nairn tried to make a complicated analogy comparing the end of the Trump Administration to the plot of the Francis Ford …
Following Trump defeat, comedy and art all bad now
WASHINGTON D.C. — While Donald Trump brought blatant corruption, incompetence, and cruelty to the American presidency, his electoral defeat comes with the equally dire consequence that all comedy…
Fans across globe salute Sean Connery’s passing with terrible, terrible impressions
WORLDWIDE — All around the world, fans of Sean Connery are observing his passing with just the absolute worst impressions of the revered film icon. “Thish ish indeed a shad day for oll ush …
