CAPE BRETON, NS – Tragedy struck Nova Scotia today, as one of the last locally owned agricultural sites in the province, an ant farm owned by 11-year-old Billy Lawson, was bought out by agr…
Business
GM recalls being good at making cars
DETROIT, MI – In the wake of several manufacturing errors on many different models affecting over 13.6 million vehicles, General Motors has announced that it is recalling that it used to be…
Newark area Best Western worried it may never relive glory of 2010 Champion Customer Care Award
NEWARK — After being snubbed by the Best Western International® Awards Committee for the fourth consecutive year, the staff at a local Best Western feared it may never recapture the fleeting glor…
PR worker confident latest tweet won’t get her fired
FREDERICTON, N.B. – PR worker and aspiring social media phenom Deirdre Waynes is certain that her latest tweet from the account of McMillan Holdings and Sales Ltd. will not unleash a massiv…
Workplace accidents fall to zero after factory institutes strict ‘walk-it-off’ policy
HAMILTON, ON – Metallic refinery ConCan Steel has made it through an entire year with a flawless safety record after implementing a revolutionary “walk-it-off” policy, where employees compl…
McDonald’s introduces the McMigrant worker
VICTORIA – Fast food chain McDonald’s unveiled its new line of workers called the McMigrant on Monday. “Canadians are familiar with our minimum wage labour jobs that are usually occupied by…
The Economist surprises readers by using term ‘gambit’ in story title
LONDON – In a move that has stirred controversy among regular readers, a renowned news and international affairs publication has unearthed an unusual, yet clever term. The Economist magazin…
Popular hipster cafe ironically serving instant coffee
MONTREAL – Recently opened hipster cafe “The Twig” is making a name for itself by serving “nostalgic” instant coffee complete with white refined sugar and powdered c…
Little Caesar’s hosts blood drive on Ides of March
DETROIT – In a show of corporate and community involvement, the Little Caesar’s pizza chain in Detroit will be hosting blood drives during the Ides of March. “Anyone who comes in during the Ides …
Man trapped in IKEA for three weeks emerges knowing only how to församla the fyrkantig
MONTREAL – After being lost inside the Montreal IKEA superstore for over three weeks, a local man is now only able to converse in IKEA themed Swedish. Jerry Larsson, who subsisted mainly on…
