Florenceville, NB – Attendees at a media strategy session for the McCain Foods company reported enthusiasm over plans to expand awareness to teens using the app Snapchat, despite absolutely…
Business
Shocking report reveals Tim Hortons’ Boston Cream filling not made with Canadian pus
OTTAWA – The nation is in an uproar today, after federal food inspectors conclusively proved that the whitish-yellow inflamed abscesses used in Tim Horton’s Boston Cream donuts are not Cana…
For first time, Tim Hortons releases line of products low in radium
MISSISSAUGA, ON – Breaking with tradition after more than half a century, Tim Hortons has released a line of products containing only a pretty good amount of radium. “Today’s co…
Air Transat installs breathalyzer ignition system for all aircraft
MONTREAL – Montreal-based Air Transat will install a breathalyzer ignition interlock system on all of their fleet’s aircraft to prevent any further incidents of inebriated pilots. “Clearly,…
Report: all that bad stuff at Marineland probably fixed by now
NIAGARA FALLS, ON – A new report affirms all the bad stuff you remember hearing about Marineland a couple of years ago is ‘probably cleared up by now.’ “Oh sure, after all that bad publicit…
Air Canada introduces landing fee to all customers currently in flight
DORVAL, QC – Air Canada has announced a new “landing fee” to all customers who are in mid-flight at the present time. “Our goal at Air Canada is always to provide the best quality service,”…
INFOGRAPHIC: Blackberry vs Canadarm
Is it entirely possible that the Blackberry and the Canadarm are the same thing?…
Man being yelled at in cubicle dreamt he was flying last night
MISSISSAUGA, ON – After dreaming he was experiencing the perfect freedom of untethered flight last night, reports have confirmed that customer service representative Jeffrey Kwan is being y…
Blackberry stock rises on report nation’s dads still can’t figure out iPhone
TORONTO – Blackberry stock closed at its highest level in months today after a national report released by McGill University indicated that Canadian fathers are still too stubborn to learn how an…
Kevin O’Leary starts rumour that Kevin O’Leary named in Panama Papers
TORONTO – Following the explosive “Panama Papers” leak, detailing the offshore accounts of high profile billionaires worldwide, Dragon’s Den star Kevin O’Leary has been caught starting a ru…
