CANADA – Party goers across the country are marking the holiday dedicated to the patron saint of Ireland by enjoying food, drink, and activities that do not originate from the island of rou…
Little Caesar’s hosts blood drive on Ides of March
DETROIT – In a show of corporate and community involvement, the Little Caesar’s pizza chain in Detroit will be hosting blood drives during the Ides of March. “Anyone who comes in during the Ides …
EXCLUSIVE: Fate of missing Malaysian airplane finally conjectured upon
KUALA LUMPUR – Days after Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 mysteriously vanished without a trace, there is finally conjecture on just what exactly happened. “It took a lot of digging, but I …
Man trapped in IKEA for three weeks emerges knowing only how to församla the fyrkantig
MONTREAL – After being lost inside the Montreal IKEA superstore for over three weeks, a local man is now only able to converse in IKEA themed Swedish. Jerry Larsson, who subsisted mainly on…
Brave theatre student comes out as straight
TORONTO – Third year theatre student Braydon Stamkos has revealed to his family and friends that he could no longer lie by omission and revealed that he is straight. “For too long, I have b…
Former Sun News boss commences Phase II of plan to destroy Canada
MONTREAL – Former Quebecor CEO Pierre Karl Péladeau initiated the second phase of his secret seven point plan to sabotage Canada on Sunday when he announced he would be the Parti Québécois’…
First ever wind-powered vehicle breaks land speed record, kills 53
Black Rock Desert, NEVADA – Cleantech automotive’s innovative wind-powered vehicle has shredded the world land speed record along with approximately 50 spectators. The new vehicle equipped …
Kim Jung-un boasts to West about North Korea’s record low obesity rate
PYONGYANG – North Korea’s supreme leader Kim Jong-un has bragged to Western leaders about his country’s resoundingly low obesity rate. “The Americans tremble at the ferocity of our citizens…
Trudeau gaffes on son’s birth certificate adding ‘H’ to Adrian
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau is proudly celebrating the arrival of his third child by misspelling the poor newborn’s name on the birth certificate. “It was a joke” explained an amused Trudeau. “I thou…
Quebec’s Language Police fines anglophone family for writing ‘Toronto’ in English on moving boxes
MONTREAL – The Miller family’s flight from Quebec’s increasingly stringent language laws hit a snag on Thursday when the province’s language police fined them $3,000 for writing Toronto in …
