OAKVILLE – A recent study has revealed that most girls that were assholes to you in high school are now struggling to break free from cosmetics-related pyramid schemes in their adult lives. “We p…
Green Party condemns former candidate for throwing non-organic pumpkin seeds at Trudeau
HAMILTON – Green Party Leader Elizabeth May is condemning a former candidate of her party for throwing non-organic pumpkin seeds at Prime Minister Justin Trudeau earlier today. According to…
Computer illiterate Ontario government asks grade ten students to fix online literacy test
TORONTO – Ontario government officials are appealing to grade 10 students to help them fix the problems with online Ontario Secondary School Literacy Test since it crashed earlier today. Pa…
Yukon votes 2016: Party platforms
Yukoners will head to the polls on November 7th to elect 19 members of the Legislative Assembly. Here’s what the four political parties have to offer: The Yukon Party Indigenous Relations: Promis…
Trudeau: Only 39.5% of people voted for electoral reform
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Liberal government is backing away from a promise on electoral reform by claiming they didn’t get enough votes in the past federal election to refor…
Is Canada too needy for Justin Trudeau?
Is Canada too needy to hang on to our hot PM? Meet The Beaverton’s new Anchors, Emma Hunter and Miguel Rivas, as they debate. The Beaverton TV show premieres November 9th at 10:30 pm on Co…
Baseball announcer refuses to use the offensive term “Cleveland”
CLEVELAND – MLB announcer Jerry Howarth will be refusing to call the Blue Jay’s ALCS opponents by their city’s name as some find the word “Cleveland” to be downright offensive. “I have stop…
Sidelined Crosby returns to Tim Hortons drive-thru job
Cole Harbour, NS – Pittsburgh Penguins Captain Sidney Crosby has returned to work at a Nova Scotia Tim Hortons after a concussion put the two-time Stanley Cup winner out of regular season p…
Canadian Association of Clowns say scary clowns no laughing matter
Haliburton, ON – The association representing the nation’s 50,000 clowns has condemned recent incidents of scary clowns in a fun-filled and mesmerizing press conference earlier today. Tumbl…
New PQ leader to add ‘maybe’ to referendum options
QUEBEC – The new Leader of the Parti Québécois has vowed to introduce a third ‘maybe’ option in the event of an another referendum. Jean-François Lisée promised that, in the event of a refe…
