TORONTO – In response to a rash of violent sexual assaults against women students at York University’s Keele Campus in 2012, the school’s President Mamdouh Shoukri claims the institution ha…
Groundhog sees Jungian shadow, predicts everlasting winter of the soul
WIARTON, ON – Meteorologists were flabbergasted today when Wiarton Willie, the popular weather rodent, emerged from his burrow and was frightened by the sight of the dark, undesirable aspec…
Newfoundland spelling bee impossible to judge
ST JOHN’S, NL – A national spelling bee contest held in Newfoundland was cancelled this morning when judges deemed it was too difficult to determine what letters were being said aloud. “Hal…
Steven Harper commissions detailed report on human emotion
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Stephen Harper has called on his council of Cabinet members to provide him with a detailed report on human emotion. Included in the request made earlier in the week,…
Ontario Liberals historically elect first high-cheekboned, bespectacled premier who was also born in 1953
TORONTO – Political history was made in Toronto over the weekend when Kathleen Wynne became the first Liberal Leader of Ontario that wears glasses while having high cheekbones and who is op…
Harper to First Nations: ‘We must support Israel’
OTTAWA – Addressing the ongoing calls for government commitment to pursue First Nations issues, Prime Minister Stephen Harper released a statement to Aboriginal leaders this Friday morning …
