OTTAWA – In an effort to cut down call centre wait times, the Canada Revenue Agency has hired a new team of agents uniquely equipped to handle calls from concerned taxpayers: scammers who say you owe the government $10,000 in bitcoin.
A letter from Finance Minister François-Philippe Champagne outlined why he believed employing fraudsters would be the best solution to addressing the tens of thousands of calls that go unanswered each day, starting with the fact that the scammers already got the hardest part of the job down, i.e. saying they’re calling from Canada Revenue.
“Nobody wants to admit they work for the CRA,” said Champagne. “And with these folks willing to put themselves on the line and say this call after call, that’s the kind of spirit that’ll help us connect to taxpayers, answer their questions, and most importantly, get us money to pay for stuff.”
Taxpayers are applauding this move, with many looking forward to speaking with a real person, even if they might steal your grandma’s entire life savings.
“I think I’m going to cry,” said Mia Waugh, a Gen Zer who’s been trying to get a hold of the CRA for six months. “And I don’t even care what they tell me. Even if they tell me there’s a warrant out for my arrest. It’s just going to be such a relief to have someone pick up the call and talk to me.”
But while some critics questioned if hiring fraudsters who have committed acts of financial terrorism against Canadians is the right move to ease the backlog, Champagne replied “We’re looking for all the help we can get. Plus, in this economy, it’s nice for our government to create a job for once.”
Champagne also announced that for those taxpayers who will miss “the sexy chill lo-fi beats that play whenever they call the revenue agency,” they will still have the chance to stream those tracks on the new government Spotify playlist: “CRA & Chill.”
