OTTAWA – After publishing an official statement on behalf of the Canadian government supporting the joint US-Israel bombings in Iran this morning, Prime Minister Carney was spotted happily putting the rules-based international order sign back in the window of Parliament.
“Look, guys, when I made that speech at Davos about ‘taking the sign out of the window due to increasing US aggression at the whims of an insane hegemon,’ I wasn’t talking about keeping it out forever,” Carney stated at a press conference on Parliament Hill. “I just figured the sign needed to be taken away for a fresh paint job and then immediately reinstated. Gotta keep that thing lookin’ fresh.”
Carney stressed the importance of Canadians understanding that when he said that the international order was now, “A system of intensifying great power rivalry, where the most powerful pursue their interests, using economic integration as coercion,” he was just speaking hypothetically for funsies, and definitely not about his good buddy Donald, who he definitely respects and isn’t afraid of.
“The United States of America has a right to keep the world safe against an Iranian nuclear program that they also heroically eliminated last summer, just like Israel has a right to defend itself against any country or any small orphaned baby that looks at it funny.”
“In fact, add all that to the sign,” Carney noted, polishing the ‘reinstated international order’ sign so hard that it could be seen from space. “Trump and Netanyahu need to know Canada is super down for — what did I also say at Davos? — oh yeah, ‘being on the menu.’”
At press time, Carney was fully convinced that this was going to be the time that a US attack on a Middle Eastern country was finally going to lead to peace and security for its people.
