OTTAWA – The Prime Minister’s Office has issued a directive that all staffers and civil servants must bow before speaking to Prime Minister Carney.
“Upon entering a room in which his excellence, Mark Carney is located, you will enter, bow at the neck (not the waist you ignorant Prussian), then proceed three steps and face him. Only then may you speak,” the statement reads.
“The Prime Minister is to be addressed only as Prime Minister, My Lord or Your Royal Bankness,” it added.
Carney has been said to favour an “old school” approach to leading the administrative arm of Canada’s government. Workers are expected to arrive in formal dress and stand when he enters a room. Those who do not will be sent to “the room.”
“I don’t know what happens there exactly,” said Emilia Hastings, a 10 year veteran of the Energy Ministry. “But my friend Sheila went in there, and since she came out she hasn’t laughed or smiled once.”
We tried to speak to Mark Carney about the claims he is riding roughshod over the civil service, but he just held his hand out waiting for us to kiss his ring.
