OTTAWA – With thousands of passengers still facing travel delays as flight attendants strike for fair working conditions, Air Canada executives have decided to comfort customers by sending photos of their bonuses earned off record $1.14 billion profits last year.
“We understand the frustration of having your return ticket abruptly cancelled just because we demand our flight attendants work for free before and after and sometimes during their shifts,” explains Air Canada CEO Michael Rousseau.
“That’s why I’m sending a photo of my bank account, showing the millions I earned in bonuses last fiscal year, so that you can dream about all the jetskis I plan to buy while you’re sleeping on the ground in the Beijing Daxing International Airport,” Rousseau noted, adding a heart emoji to the photograph of his massive executive compensation.
Across the organization, Air Canada executives are showing they care by reaching out with photos of their bonus cheques, luxury Muskoka cottages, and private jets which they travel in because “Air Canada is for poor people.”
“I hope that this photo of my St. Barts vacation home makes you feel better,” explained Air Canada VP of Making The Seats Smaller, Melinda Frakes. “Better anyway than refunding your cancelled flight or using this largess to pay our flight attendants a living wage, because we’re definitely not doing either of those.”
Sr. VP of Layover Extension Bernard Willmington III sent customers a photo of a pile of money with a Canadian flag planted in it. “Thank you to Mark Carney and the Liberals, whose taxpayer-funded 2021 bailout allowed Air Canada to buy back massive amounts of stock, underpay our employees, and still have the government side with us in this labour dispute. #OhCanada”
At press time Air Canada is offering stranded travellers the chance to fly home by working as non-union scab flight attendants, though made it clear that they will not be paid for that labour either.
