NORTH VANCOUVER – Six weeks after the Supreme Court of British Columbia banned a group of anti-trans and anti-vaccine protesters from holding a dangerous, months-long demonstration on a highway overpass in North Vancouver, the North Vancouver RCMP has confirmed that they are unwilling to enforce the court injunction because they don’t personally have a problem with the protesters or their hate-filled messages.
“We use very simple criteria for deciding what kind of protesters we arrest, and these protesters do not fit our criteria,” the RCMP explained in a media release. “They aren’t protesting the fossil fuel industry, they aren’t protesting us, they aren’t left wing, and they aren’t Indigenous. Our hands are tied. Because we tied them.”
The RCMP is hopeful that being honest about their priorities now will prevent future cases of the Canadian public expecting the RCMP to enforce laws they don’t care about or arrest people with whom they agree politically.
“We thought we made it blindingly obvious from our conduct over the last 150 years that we are a right wing organization dedicated to violently upholding racist, sexist, and classist power hierarchies, but apparently we have to explicitly state it because some people have, and we don’t know how this happened, come to believe that we operate in the interests of justice.”
“However, we do understand why our stance on journalism in particular might be confusing because we both work with and arrest journalists, so to clarify: journalists who uncritically parrot our version of events as though it were objective fact will not be arrested, but journalists in the field who witness our brutal activities and report on them will be arrested.”
The media release concluded with a demand for a funding increase “or else”.
When asked for comment on the protests and the RCMP refusal to enforce the court injunction against them, B.C. Premier David Eby promised to spend a great deal of time being sad about the situation and wishing things were different.