MOUNT PEARL, NL – Locally renowned narcissist, Charles Mizzard, has been telling anyone who will listen about the “spectacular” dick pic he sent himself. Many residents have been unable to avoid this information since Charles mentions it to everyone he has served at Robin’s Coffee.
“I was admiring myself in the mirror after working out and I was kind of turning myself on. And since I had my bathroom renovated last month, the light in there is incredible just before sunset. I figured someone should capture the moment so I grabbed my phone and took a quick pic of myself in full glory. I’m a bit of an amateur photographer and I think I really captured the essence of the Golden Hour,” said Mizzard.
Mizzard said he emailed himself the pic immediately so there would be a backup in the cloud, and then he also texted himself the picture just in case. Mizzard says it might be one of the best pictures he’s ever taken and is considering submitting it to the National Geographic nature photography contest.
“God, he just won’t shut up about this damn pic of his junk,” says best friend Brent Julio. “This is like when Christian won a best costume prize one Halloween. He thinks he’s the greatest costume maker in the country. He won that prize in Grade 4. I’m probably going to hear about his dick for the rest of my life now.”
Despite Mizzard’s open and public discussions about his photo, no one else has seen it.
“Sure, I’ll talk about it but I’ve never really thought about sending it or showing it to anyone else. Honestly, the best person to truly appreciate what I have going on, is me,” said Mizzard.