LONDON – The author of the beloved Harry Potter series J.K Rowling tweeted today that, while Voldemort was absolutely a villain, his views on trans people were largely correct.
The tweet was in response to Voldemort defenders, who staunchly support murdering civilians, supporting an autocratic regime and eliminating those deemed as inferior, as they made a comment in support of Rowling’s recent “cancellation.”
“Look at what they did to poor JK,” noted Treech Whitewood, lifelong death-eater, “She agrees with our Dark Lord that those who reject gender assignment are inferior, and the twitter snowflakes have cancelled her. They’re cancelling us too.” Whitewood then shook his head and continued using the Cruciatus Curse on someone who refused to drop their pants for a genital inspection.
“I’ll be perfectly clear, I do not want the support of Voldemort or any of his followers, he is an objectively evil man,” Rowling’s tweet thread began. “However, trans people are gross and icky, so you gotta hand it to ‘em about that.”
The response from the fan community was one of initial confusion, but then acceptance.
“I thought Voldemort was the ultimate evil,” said die-hard Harry Potter fan Rebecca Heartland, “but she wrote my favourite books as a kid so I guess even the worst of us can agree that hating trans people is neat. Why should her bank account suffer because of that?”
Rowling’s rabid and unending attacks on members of the trans community have made her a controversial figure as of late, something we’re not obliged to say, but makes us sound more objective instead of the equally objective phrasing which would call her a repulsive TERF who’s obsessed with innocent peoples’ genitals.