OTTAWA – Dads nationwide have been checking in throughout the day with a reminder that your mom’s birthday is next week and you should definitely give her a call, but of course you know that.
Some of the dads sent emails during pre-dawn hours or late in the evening after “just finish(ing) this amazing documentary about the cars of world war 2”, carefully worded to strike the perfect balance between passivity and aggressiveness. “It’s a pretty big one this year,” said dad Antoine Fumero. “So I figured it couldn’t hurt to send along a message just in case. We know you’re busy.”
Other dads preferred a more direct approach with an afternoon phone call. “I thought I’d make sure to talk to you,” said known father Ted Kwan. “Seeing as five years ago you forgot to call her until after dinner when you were on that trip to Cancun. Mom would be really disappointed and that’s who we’re all thinking about. But of course we all know how busy you’ve been.”
Several self-described Papas sent wildly capitalised text messages filled with a seemingly random string of emojis to really drive the point home. “Remember, “Your Mom’s” birthday is COming up next week,” wrote Lou Franklin. “Great to hear you’re So Busy but don’t forget! [heart emoji] [100 emoji] [clock emoji] [disco guy emoji] [smiling ghost emoji?].”
While the forms of communication may have varied the message stayed remarkably consistent: You are an adult who almost certainly can’t be trusted to remember the birthday of the woman who brought you screaming into this world. They know how busy things are, but maybe you could use that calendar of winery dogs she bought you last year?
At press time the dads were drafting a follow-up notice that your grandparents would love to hear from you as it’s been so long, but again, they’re sure you’re very busy.