I had been struggling with relationships for a while. No matter how hard I’ve tried or how detached I’ve tried to be, those I’ve loved have left me or I’ve pushed them away. That’s when someone close to me brought up “attachment styles,” a burgeoning science that aims to understand how we attach ourselves to our prospective partners. I was intrigued, so I took the test. Boy was that a mistake, because it turns out that my attachment style is Clippy from Microsoft Word.
As devastating as it was to learn, it was also incredibly revealing. Now looking back, I see why people turned away from a man who repeatedly asked “It looks like you’re trying to write a resume, would you like help with that?” Their disgust was palpable, and now I see why.
I actually think it’s harder than ever to find a suitable partner. Sure, the people who are new to the dating pool are appreciative of some of the prompts I have for them, but those who are familiar find me incredibly annoying and overbearing.
The results also explained people’s issue with my name to a tee! It’s Alec! Not Alex, and it turns out that Clippy’s real name is Clippit! I didn’t even know this and it’s my attachment style. No wonder nobody likes being around me.
There’s good news for people in a similar boat, attachment styles are not static, and can be changed over time. So with hard work, support and introspection, I may be able to stop bothering those around me with tips on appropriate fonts for their professional memos.
It seems that you’ve finished this article, would you like to learn how to format your own? Oh God, I’m sorry, I’m working on it, I promise.