Straight man brags about being only straight man in theatre school - The Beaverton

Straight man brags about being only straight man in theatre school

MISSISSAUGA – Local straight man and recent graduate Michael Gibson has bragged about being the only straight man in his year.

“There were about 50 people in my class and of that, half were men. All of them were gay, except me, a straight man!” laughed Michael Gibson, while flattening out the wrinkles on his burgundy Henley shirt. “As a straight man, I was surprised to find myself totally comfortable with being the only straight man. So comfortable, in fact, that since graduating, I’ve been telling everyone how incredible it was that I, a cis-straight man, was the only straight man in my year! No homo!”

Michael, who is conventionally handsome, able-bodied, and often welcomed into every space he enters, prides himself on all the nuanced representation he brought to roles like Willy in Death of a Salesman or Marius in Les Misérables. “As the token straight, I felt like it was my job to show everyone that straight men can do sissy things, too, like dancing, singing and expressing emotion.”

Added Gibson, “I even went beyond the binary and wore stage makeup!”

According to Gibbons, it was a challenge being the hetero-minority, especially whenever his NHL jokes didn’t land but “being the only straight guy in class meant I’d get all the girls!” to which all the women in his class emphatically declared “no”.

When asked if he realized that school is one of the few accessible post-secondary spaces for 2ia+ people, Gibson responded by stating how open-minded he was for having an on-stage kiss with a male actor in his third year production of Fiddler on the Roof. “The moment I felt that tingly-wingly feeling of internalized homophobia, I comfortably slipped back into heteronormativity by reminding everyone that I was ‘just acting.’ No homo!”

Since graduating, Gibson has focused on taking some real artistic risks, like auditioning for the role of Frank. N Furter in a production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. “I spent three years surrounded by gay men and, thus, have perfected the flamboyant-sassy-character,” added Gordon in an offensively lispy voice. “So, I basically got a degree in how to play queer.”

At press time, Gibson bragged about being the only white guy to listen to “Straight Outta Compton” cover-to-cover.