WINNIPEG – Multiple sources are reporting that it is extremely vital to the health and wellbeing of a Winnipeg resident that everyone is made aware of the fact that the weather is actually …
Tag: Facebook
‘Communist Broadcasting Corporation’ Facebook comment lands uncle 5 years in gulag
Tweed, ON – After a months long trial, local uncle Herb McKinley has been found guilty of criticizing the Communist Broadcasting Corporation and sentenced to 5 years hard labour in the gula…
Parents update password to latest dog
VANCOUVER, BC – In a surprising move, Kevin and Sue Dikkers have updated their computer passwords to the latest family dog. ‘Frances!1’ replaces ‘Benji!1’ a long running password in held in…
Report: Facebook pretty much just pet obituaries now
TORONTO – A new report released by the University of Toronto suggests that 90% of recent Facebook posts are messages of love for recently deceased domestic animals. The social media site, once va…
Facebook down: Millions of users took to the streets to yell out their personal data in hopes of being heard by advertisers, spy agencies
MENLO PARK, CA – Millions of loyal Facebook users took to the streets across North America and Europe to yell out their personal data during an outage earlier today. “I live in San Antonio,…
That one guy you know from high school still defending Kanye West
MISSISSAUGA – A recent string of concerning posts on your Facebook feed has revealed that someone you went to highschool with still stans for Kanye West. Hunter Maldonado, the guy who would…
Local couple celebrates anniversary with cellphone lit dinner
EDMONTON – After three years together, Joseph Webber and Nina Crawford celebrated their relationship with an unforgettable night out staring at their phones. The two began by reading up on Yelp f…
Girlfriend’s relative thinks they can add you on Facebook just like that
HOME – In an act of what can only be described as massive presumption, Sheila de Souza, 53, a person that your girlfriend has confirmed is a member of her family, has sent you a friend requ…
Alex Jones banned from Facebook, YouTube, Apple just in the nick of 5 years too late
PALO ALTO, CA — Facebook, iTunes, YouTube, and Spotify have announced that they will drop Alex Jones’ broadcasts effective immediately, as part of an effort to do nothing whatsoever to prev…
Facebook dating algorithm to find the perfect match for your carefully curated online persona
SILICON VALLEY – Taking a break from helping the Russian government tamper with American elections, Facebook has pivoted into the dating sphere, utilizing their infamous data collection to …