OTTAWA — College friend Brandon Ward, a man you know to be dumb as bricks, is reportedly doing pretty well these days. According to sources which include Facebook, the Facebook app, and your frie…
Tag: Facebook
BREAKING: Somebody liked a pic you posted two years ago
THE INTERNET – Social media notifications have confirmed that a photo of yourself that you posted more than two years ago on a day when you felt cute has received a new like, prompting a de…
Anti-vax protest cancelled due to measles outbreak
PORTLAND, OR — A protest planned by the parents group “Vaccine Rights Now” has been postponed due to a local measles outbreak which has hospitalized dozens. “I would rather be out there pro…
Heartbroken woman betrayed by imaginary boyfriend after discovering he’s already married
HALIFAX – Romantic tragedy struck yesterday when 30-year-old Tina McCullough discovered that Brian Huntington, her imaginary boyfriend of two years, was already secretly married to another woman.…
Local family disappointed as Elijah flakes on Passover dinner yet again
MONTREAL – The mood at the Ginsberg household was reportedly low last night after receiving news that the Prophet Elijah had once again bailed on their Passover Seder. “I mean, we always le…
Documents reveal anti-vaccination Facebook groups funded by ‘Big Child Coffin’
WASHINGTON DC – Exposing greedy corporate propaganda, an industry watchdog group has obtained leaked internal documents that demonstrate a direct connection between popular anti-vaccination…
Very important to Winnipeg man that you know it is currently colder in Winnipeg
WINNIPEG – Multiple sources are reporting that it is extremely vital to the health and wellbeing of a Winnipeg resident that everyone is made aware of the fact that the weather is actually …
‘Communist Broadcasting Corporation’ Facebook comment lands uncle 5 years in gulag
Tweed, ON – After a months long trial, local uncle Herb McKinley has been found guilty of criticizing the Communist Broadcasting Corporation and sentenced to 5 years hard labour in the gula…
Parents update password to latest dog
VANCOUVER, BC – In a surprising move, Kevin and Sue Dikkers have updated their computer passwords to the latest family dog. ‘Frances!1’ replaces ‘Benji!1’ a long running password in held in…
Report: Facebook pretty much just pet obituaries now
TORONTO – A new report released by the University of Toronto suggests that 90% of recent Facebook posts are messages of love for recently deceased domestic animals. The social media site, once va…