QUIZ: Did you time travel or just nap until it got dark out? - The Beaverton
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QUIZ: Did you time travel or just nap until it got dark out?

The passing of early dawn to high noon followed by brief dusk lasts but a mere second in . The world is cloaked in miserable grey nothingness day after day, only to be broken up by endless night. A monotony only rivalled by granules of sand falling from an hourglass.

You crave escape the only way you know how: you surrender to your unconscious. Moments later, your eyes blink open to a foreign world. Oh jeez, sure is dark out!

Have you transcended the distance between decades or did you just until it got dark out and didn’t recognize where you were like a dumb little baby?

1. Does your immediate environment look different from what you last remembered?
I do not recognize these four walls, these strange shiny objects around me. They look like artifacts of an era yet to come. Chillingly blank and lifeless.
It all seems the same… yet I can’t be sure. I recognize this room, but now everything is darker.
2. How does your body feel?
Alien and stiff. My muscles ache as though they have not stretched in eons.
Disoriented and really thirsty. Shit, I think I sat up too quickly.
3. A low buzzing emanates from beneath you, so you investigate. What is it?
A tether to my Inter-Dimensional Travel charging port. My internal telecommunications receiver is charged at 100%.
My phone keeps sending me notifications. I missed a call from my mom, but I only have 2% battery left.
4. You stumble pass a reflective surface and lean into it. What stares back at you?
A haunted, gaunt face that has aged tremendously through the rigours of time and space.
Crusty drool chips off a face, that despite having slept for 3 hours, looks deeply tired.
5. Quick! Run out into the streets and shake a stranger and demand to know what year it is… what did they say?
“Welcome, we have been anticipating your arrival. Welcome to 4289, Chosen One.”
“Get the hell off me! Stop yelling! Let me check my watch, God! It’s 7:15, shit 6:15, haven’t adjusted for . Don’t touch strangers.”
6. So this is it, what shall you do in this new world?
Recognize that no matter the year, the location, you have always travelled alone. Everyone you have ever loved has perished to the ever-fast march of linear time and that any connection you make is marred by looming death. You are a sick anomaly, doomed to wander the desert of time in solitude. You turn over to take a nap to unburden yourself from this dread.
Watch TV until 4 am because you fucked yourself with that nap.
QUIZ: Did you time travel or just nap until it got dark out?
You are a time-travelling explorer the likes of which have never existed!
You have faced adventure head-on in every millennia, however you’ve had to do it alone. Your destiny brought you to the year 4289 to meet other travellers similar to yourself, but unfortunately you overslept and have entered a time-loop in which nothing you do will save you.
QUIZ: Did you time travel or just nap until it got dark out?
You took a very long nap, dumbass!
You’re an adult that hasn’t mastered the art of the power nap. Instead you curse yourself into ruining a perfectly good night of sleep. Furthermore, you startle yourself every time you wake up because you could have sworn it was daytime when you fell asleep… shit you might actually be a time-traveller.
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