OTTAWA – After reading a shocking article while waiting in line at the grocery store, Conservative leader Andrew Scheer is blasting Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for potentially allowing a group of dangerous lizard people to enter Canada.
“Disturbing that these reptilian humanoids might come to Canada. Apparently this isn’t the first time this has come up. As Prime Minister I won’t let them come here. Where does Trudeau stand? Our country should not be a dumping ground for powerful lizard overlords,” Scheer tweeted.
While many question Scheer relying on a tabloid article as proof that shape shifting humanoid reptiles exist and that they pose a threat to Canada which Trudeau both knows about and is ignoring, others argue that everyone who questions the existence of the lizard people are probably lizard people.
“If Andrew Scheer says the lizard people are a problem, well, that’s good enough for me,” said longtime Conservative voter Sheila McKenzie. “I mean, the alternative is that the leader of Canada’s official opposition was either stupid enough to be taken in by tabloid nonsense or he knowingly spread false news in a cynical and profoundly unethical attempt to sway voters. But he wouldn’t do that. That’s lizard person behaviour.”
“Oh god! That’s lizard person behaviour!”
The Prime Minister’s office has yet to comment on whether or not lizard people are real and if they are welcome in Canada, but Trudeau has vehemently denied recent Conservative accusations that the Liberals are soft on Bigfoot-related crime.