Sleep-deprived parent fondly remembers days of being sleep-deprived raver - The Beaverton
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Sleep-deprived parent fondly remembers days of being sleep-deprived raver

KAMLOOPS, BC – Upon catching sight of his sleepless, bloodshot eyes in the mirror, new father Daniel Lutsky took a wistful, early-dawn moment to remember his days of being disheveled and sleep-deprived as a drug-addled raver.

“Dude, I would stay up for three days at a time, just chasing that dirty drop,” shared Lutsky as he trudged down the hall to soothe his weeping offspring. “I once gloved a light show so hard at I saw trails for the next month.”

“Daniel refuses to throw away his huge pants or collection of beaded bracelets and soothers,” explained his exasperated partner Alice Turner. “At least the likes to play with that colourful kandi crap.”

Wearing barf-stained, regular-sized Lutsky sat down to read an interactive, touch and feel book entitled If I were a bunny: “This is the exact kind of fur I used to have on my rave boots! What are the fricken odds?!”

“People kept saying that parenthood would be hard, but I’ve been like training for this kind of extreme exhaustion my whole life,” said Lutsky while changing a soiled . “It’s muscle memory, bro, I live for that faded blur”.

At press time it was reported that the baby’s first four words were “Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat.”

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